When they discover the complications of moving in with two romantic partners, a thrill-seeking bartender must decide whether polyamory is for them, or risk losing both of their loves.

Dating in New York, eh? Logline is little long. You can get ride of “When they,” right off the bat. Active voice — “Discovering the complications of living with two romantic partners, a thrill-seeking bartender…” I understand the pronoun usage, but I am curious if it will be absorbed by someone reading it quick or be seen as a grammatical mistake. If you choose to tinker around, you can stil effectively write this without pronoun usage.