When told that the fate of the insane is worse than that of a normal prisoner, a murderer who plans to pretend to be insane must attempt to make the court consider him a sane murderer.
Joshua L.Penpusher
When told that the fate of the insane is worse than that of a normal prisoner, a murderer who plans to pretend to be insane must attempt to make the court consider him a sane murderer.
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it’s a bit wordy – Any way to simplify it?
You do have a point, 36 words is probably a bit much.
How does this sound?:
When told the fate of an insane prisoner is worse than normal, a deceptive murderer must get the court to reconsider him sane.
Good that you changed the word amount and it seems better now.
It looks like a great story and can’t wait to see what you do with it.
Peter K.