When twin sisters contest to get young rich person, they face chaotic life.
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What’s the inciting incident that sets off the story? How does it make their lives chaotic? Think visually – film is a visual medium so how is this gonna be portrayed on screen? Be more specific.
When their billionaire father financially cuts them off, spoilt, superficial twin sisters compete to find and marry the wealthiest man before they’re forced to seek employment.
This isn’t great but you get the picture. Inciting incident, characteristics that suggest an arc, a clear goal and a ticking clock. I think the story could work better if you focused on one of the sisters so you have a clear protagonist. This way it’s much easier to show one realising the error of her ways and deciding to get a job and support herself, and the other finding a man who’s rich but a jerk and she ends up miserable. Or one finding love but the guy is poor. It really depends what you want your message to be.
Hope this helps.
Hi mikepedley85
Thanks for the comment…
The twin sisters love a guy….they compute each other to get him…this leads choatic in their life…
As midepedley85 said.
Also loglines are about what characters intentionally seek to get or realize, not the unintended consequences that result, like chaos.
When twins compete for the love of a rich man they set out to undermine each other but end up only destroying their own chance at love.
You need to be as specific as possible with your logline. You also need to give us an overall feel of the film. These aren?t easy.
>>>?The twin sisters love a guy?.they compute each other to get him?this leads choatic in their life?
Ok, competing for the same guy is great but who’s the protagonist? Why are the audience going to root for two girls who are competing for the affections of a man? We need to want one of them to succeed. Alternatively, make the guy the protagonist…
You still need an inciting incident. Something that sets up why they are suddenly competing for this guy.
As dpg pointed out, chaos is an unintended consequence. The characters need to be seen to be taking positive action towards their goal. This may lead to chaos but that is not what is driving the story forward – chaos is simply a side effect of their actions. These actions need to be described in the logline.
>>>Ok, competing for the same guy is great but who?s the protagonist?
In romances,? the standard practice is to triangulate relationships;? That is, there is a 1] protagonist who pursues a 2] love interest, but must compete with a 3] rival? for the love interest’s affection.? (AKA the “Bellamy” after the actor American Ralph Bellamy, who got type cast playing roles in romantic movies in which he was a nice-guy rival to the male lead but never the right guy for the gal.)
In this case the sisters are rivals for the same guy.? Since, they are twins, the story seems to have dual and dueling protagonists, who are mirror characters of each other.? ?Which could lead to interesting complications.
Thanks for the comments?in addition to this,
the chaos starts from one of the twin get start relationship with the guy but the guy didn’t know they are twins….and the other twin start to revenge and deteriorate the relationship of the identical twin sister.
Beki:
>>>>can we make the guy the protagonist
It occurred to me to suggest that option in my last post but? I (uncharacteristically) restrained myself.? You can certainly go that way; it depends on the story you want to tell, on whose point of view you consider best suited for framing the plot? and what your intended denouement is.
>>>?other twin start to revenge and deteriorate
Revenge for what?? ?What did her sister do to deserve such treatment?? ?That’s a backstory event — not something to try to cram into a logline.? But if that’s the way you want to play out the relationship between the twins, you need to have a reason that will sell to an audience as to why one sister is justified to seek revenge on the other, to ruin her chance for love.? Otherwise, the avenging sister will come across as an unsympathetic character.?
Have you considered the possibility that?the sabotaging twin is motivated by the conviction that it’s a bad match, that he is the wrong guy for her sister?? She engages in destructive behavior with the best of intentions.? So she’s not a rival, but a deflector.
Are the women fraternal twins or identical twins — no small issue when it comes to casting the roles.
Hi dpg
I like to shape the story a little bit…
the Chaos raised because the twin sisters raised in different places…when they families divorced….this make d/f personal background…they didn’t treat as like as ?sisters after they were meet after long year
Does it makes sound…?
Hi dpg
the story shaped like this the reason of the conflict…
the family of the identical twins? separated when they are 4 years old, so they lived in d/f country with different personality….when they meet after 15 year ,this makes difficult to get on well…and malignancy one another .
what about this…..?
Still not sure what the inciting incident is that kicks off the plot.? Whatever it is, it should upset the status quo.
If the status quo is that their relationship is? conflicted from the git go because they were raised separately, then tossing a love interest into the mix doesn’t really upset the status quo.? Rather, it just intensifies an already conflicted relationship, makes a bad situation worse.
So, it is more dramatically interesting if the status quo is that initially the relationship between the twins is harmonious.? And then introduce the love interest that upsets that status quo, creates discord and conflict between the two,
fwiw