Runaway Train
DeepakPenpusher
When two escaped convicts get trapped on a runaway train, they must stop the train and evade the jail warden by being a team
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One more sentence please.
What is the sentence you are expecting, Chris. Please be specific.
I tried posting twice, but, I don’t see it on the page. Just in case you didn’t get it, I believe your close, and, I just wanted to know a little more about your protagonists. What makes them different, from one-another?
Why should the audience care, root for the convicts to evade recapture? Did they commit the crimes for which they were incarcerated?
“When an innocent convict and a rookie escape prison and get trapped on an unmanned speeding train, they must stop it and evade the menacing jail warden by being a team”
Does this help dgp & Chris? I have not provided the information before because the log line must be within 25 words.
It’s much fuller. The two protagonist are defined. I like it.
“a rookie” ? Rookie what? First time convict? Is he innocent, too, or…?
Deepak Surendar:
Is this logline the seed-thought of a story you are thinking of writing, or a logline based upon a script you have completed?
dgp: This logline is from a 90’s movie written by Akira Kurosawa which I recently watched. I am trying to get the jist of the story in the logline.
Rookie – to me means an inexperienced prisoner. I believe the information I have given summarises the movie.
Oh, “The Runaway Train” directed by Andrey Konchalovskiy from a screenplay that was a rewrite by others of one by Kurosawa.
When a runaway convict becomes trapped on a runaway train, he must choose between saving his life and being recaptured or dying a free man.
25 words. Yeah, I know it strips out the complications of the 2 other passengers, the warden in hot pursuit, yada-yada, but the hook, the truly compelling aspect of the story is the awful existential choice the plot forces the protagonist to make: live the rest of his life in a hellish prison run a sadistic warden or die a free man.
dgp, i agree with you. my logline was missing the hook. I will concentrate on incorporating the hook of the story. Thanks.