While celebrating at an exclusive costume ball, a group of superrich Singaporeans is lured away by sexy aliens and now must save Earth from being taken over by superrich aliens looking to add Earth to their coffers.

Are the sexy aliens and the superrich aliens the same aliens? Why are the superrich Singaporeans lured away by the sexy aliens? Why are these guys the protagonists?

Inciting incident – I guess that’s the superrich Singaporeans being lured away – it doesn’t really set up a goal though. The inciting incident really should be the moment they discover that the world is in danger. You can definitely drop the whole costume ball bit as it holds no bearing on the story at all (or if it does it’s not apparent). What you really need to do though is make sure the inciting incident ties up with the goal. They are a question and an answer – the inciting incident poses a question to the protagonist(s) and the goal is how they plan on answering it.

Protagonist – I think you need to pick one protagonist. It’s much easier to write (and watch) a story when there is one central protagonist. It allows time for the audience to get to know a character and empathise with them in order to ultimately care whether they win or lose. We need to understand why we’re following this (these) character(s) though. Why does the fact they’re superrich Singaporeans make a difference? Is the fact they’re superrich relevant? Or where they’re from? Everything in your logline (and your story) must have a purpose.

Goal – to save the Earth – great! But from what? What’s the actual threat? If these aliens are benevolent beings who take care of the earth and everyone in it…? I think we need some stakes to understand what happens if these Singaporeans fail.

Hope this helps.