While investigating the darker parts of his corrupt city, a teenaged aristocrat is beguiled and betrayed by a brilliant young drug lord with a troubled past.
magdalaPenpusher
While investigating the darker parts of his corrupt city, a teenaged aristocrat is beguiled and betrayed by a brilliant young drug lord with a troubled past.
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Hard to imagine why a noble teenager would be concerned with the underlings of his city enough to investigate and get close to a drug lord.
As already indicated, what’s the goal for the teenager? To get away from the drug dealer, or stop him completely?
As savinh0 said.
Who owns the story and what is the story about? IOW: what is the spine of the script?? Is it the blue blooded teen investigating corruption?? Or the young drug lord beguiling the teen?? Both can be elements in the script, but one of them should constitute the main plot (aka: the spine), the other the subplot.?
And the logline should focus on the main plot.
Is there any connection between the plot and his “aristocrat” background?
You should focus more on a specific flaw or maybe put in some contrast into the character that is diametrically opposed to his goal.
Otherwise, as mentioned above, there is no clear goal stated in your logline. What is your MC striving for?
And what are the stakes you need to bring in tension into your story.
I also don’t see a connection between your logline and your genre. This sounds more like a crime drama.