Love’s Fate
With a touch, Lissa can see one's true love, just never her own. When Skeptic Magazine sends their top reporter to interview her, will she dare to fall in love again?
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The line doesn’t really make sense. The second line starts as if something big will happen when Skeptic Magazine come to see her and then it dwindles out to ‘will she dare to fall in love again?’ That part doesn’t really go with the opening of that sentence. Also you’ve written ‘will she fall in love again’ but never mentioned in the log line that she was ever in love. I’m presuming she will fall in love with the reporter?
I think you need to rewrite it so that we know who Lisa is (you’ve done this well in the opening line), if love has hurt her before than let us know. Then move on to being interviewed (I take it she is a celebrity for it) and then twist it that from touching the reporter she can now see her true love (maybe), and then he’s married. (again maybe). I don’t know enough of the story to give a lot of detail but I think these are the sort of elements you need to get across as at the moment it doesn’t tell us enough to hook us in.
Hope this helps
I like the set up of being able to see other people’s true love. But the rest of the logline needs work. You need to find a plot that fully exploits the pros and cons of that gift. If she still believes someone was her true love and cannot get over him, that would be a good start. Her flaw maybe that she cannot see own true love and the reporter helps her see that. But you need to say that.
I can perceive that Lisa is somehow gifted where other people’s love life is concerned but what i don’t understand is why she is not able to see her own. Is it her fault?, a deliberate action or just circumstances. You need to describe Lisa more. Then you need to clarify the prospective relationship between her and the upcoming reporter – here you didn’t indicate if she was attracted to him, if the reporter is a dashing young man, attractive, kind or someone with a prospect for romance. The word “fall in love again” could have indicated that she has had a series failed relationships, probably heartbreaks, so this could be included in her description in the first sentence, something like: After a series of heartbreaking relationships, Lisa , a talented woman??. Or Lisa a heartbroken, gifted woman could see one’s true love?.. Or something like that. I quite understand the concept, you just need to improve on the arrangement.
Her flaw is that she can’t see her own true love. Because she needs to touch you to do a reading, she can’t do herself. Thanks though! I’ll work on it!
Thanks! I can see how I might’ve left out too much. It’s hard to be concise and include everything! I’ll be working on it!
So, the reporter is her true love; doesn’t that make her his true love? So as soon as she touches him, she’ll know his true love – that is, her.
So is the conflict of the story that one day, she meets someone whose true love she is – but she doesn’t like him, doesn’t want to be with him? Because that feels promising…
He is her true love, so maybe it’s too revealing. She’s had almost a lifetime of seeing the faces of other women every time she touched the men she loved, or was at least attracted to. So, when the reporter comes along, no, she doesn’t want to be attracted to him. She doesn’t want to like him at all. And he doesn’t want her to touch him, because he’s an old-fashioned kind of guy. And a skeptic, of course. And all of that is hard to whittle down into a logline!