All Shook Up
Alan SmitheePenpusher
With the help of Elvis, a fourteen-year-old strrives to contain a series of disastrous events which he set in motion while working at his uncle’s run-down wax museum in Las Vegas.
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There’s something to this.
How would you describe the teen’s character or job function?
Show, don’t tell the goal – “strives to contain a series of disastrous events, which he set in motion.”
It sounds like Elvis and the teen are putting out fires. Is there an antagonist?
For color, inject the stakes into your goal.
Example:
“A teen tour guide enlists the help of Elvis to [GOAL] when hired by a run-down Las Vegas wax museum.”
Notice I excluded “while working” as that begs the reader, “why now?”
Keep going!