Your body is the asset,
Social class is the Pyramid Scheme.
California is the Guinea Pig &
Chance is the Prodigal Son.
Demetri.Penpusher
Your body is the asset, Social class is the Pyramid Scheme. California is the Guinea Pig & Chance is the Prodigal Son.
Share
The idea is called “PANAMA RED”. This is the first draft. It’s a little different but let me know what you think.
So…. what’s the plot? ?Who is the protagonist? ?What is his/her objective goal? ?What’s at stake?
The logline reads more like a teaser than a logline. ?Please review “Formula” at the top of the web page for guidelines on how to write and industry standard logline.
Uh, ?no it ?isn’t self-explanatory. (Otherwise, I wouldn’t have asked.)
The logline (vaguely) defines a situation for a plot. ?But it doesn’t clearly state what the plot is.
(And if “Chance” is the name of the flesh and blood protagonist, loglines, as a rule, describe the main character by that person’s defining characteristic, not a name or surname.)
Again, please review the guidelines under “Formula”.
Agreed with DPG.
This logline is confusing as the plot is unclear.
Think of a logline as a simple statement of the major plot points and elements in a story:
Story element 1 – main character, who is the one person that will be taking the main action in the story to achieve a goal?
First major plot point – inciting incident, what in your story forces the main character to take action in the first place?
Story element 2 – obstacle, what stands in the way of the main character achieving his or her goal?
Second major plot point – what is the goal the main character will achieve by the end of the story?
Wow the readers body is the asset. I am in your script?
No?
Be specific, it is your friend.
When a person social status is based on body a (insert protagonist) must (goal) but (obstacles).
Obvious.
“When California bases it’s citizenship status on body type, an overweight teen rally’s the socially awkward and the homely to bring the ugly stick down on the states Tyrannical system.”