A group of friends on a camping trip have a chance encounter with an alien species and must keep them from finding out that the planet they intend to destroy is the one that they have accidentally crash landed on.

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The Unwelcome

4 reviews

The phrase "is the one that they" is wordy. Recast the last half, such as: ...must keep them learning that they crash landed on the very planet they set out to destroy.

As for the logline:

1) A group of friends--Doesn't really tell us anything about the lead character, too generic.

2) on a camping trip-- Isn't needed, you can drop this.

3) have a chance encounter with an alien species--Drop "Chance" Isn't needed.

4) and must keep them from finding out that the planet they intend to destroy is the one that they have accidentally crash landed on--This is the meat of your logline. (Also, you don't need to say 'accidentally' crashed)
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"When a lonely science geek and his friends encounter hostile but confused aliens who've crashed landed, the group must deceive the aliens into believing this isn't the planet they're intending to destroy."
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Not sure how they're going to do that, but good luck with this!

You would think the Aliens would have GPS :)

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