etatsecond

Penpusher · 260 points

40 points to Logliner

7 loglines
10 reviews

When he wins a basketball championship, a young man suffers an accident becoming paraplegic and must accept his new status in an adapted basketball club before falling into depression.

September 20, 2019
A tragic traffic accident changes the course of 3 characters who passionately pursue morally unacceptable loves. – Amores Perros (Love’s a bitch)

May 23, 2018
When people die when they touch the doctor he must defeat death, who chose him as his successor, to return to normality.

May 23, 2018
When a disillusioned married woman is absorbed by a surrealist painting, she struggles to develop the power to free herself from the painting before becoming part of it, while falling in love with a man of painting.

May 20, 2018
After murdering an immigrant, he convinces his psychiatrist to declare him insane so as not to be put on trial, but a detective will follow his steps to lock him up.

May 19, 2018
When a young climber becomes paraplegic after an accident. In the rehabilitation center, she must accept her reality and find a new motivation for her life before choosing suicide.

May 19, 2018
When a disillusioned married woman is absorbed by a surrealist painting, she struggles to develop the power to free herself from the painting before becoming part of it, while falling in love with a man of painting.

May 19, 2018

on During a wedding rehearsal, a bridesmaid is taken by pirates and becomes the prize of the battle of ego vs revenge between two of the most powerful pirate ships.

What is the protagonist of your story? the pirates? the woman? Why do pirates take the lady? She is special?
on After they make a wish to kill their parents, a group of teenagers discover they’ve messed with an entity that makes this wish come true.

I think it's better to have a protagonist and also what is the conflict of your story? Is this entity bad or good? because they make a wish and he makes it come true.
on When a disillusioned married woman is absorbed by a surrealist painting, she struggles to develop the power to free herself from the painting before becoming part of it, while falling in love with a man of painting.

This is the corrected logline, the original logline is: In an exhibition, after a woman enters a painting, her boyfriend must look for the painter before he leaving the exhibition.?
on When a disillusioned married woman is absorbed by a surrealist painting, she struggles to develop the power to free herself from the painting before becoming part of it, while falling in love with a man of painting.

I don't know what happened but here is the original logline before my correction: In an exhibition, after a woman enters a painting, her boyfriend must look for the painter before he leaving the exhibition.?
on “After years away, lonely Darren Ashcroft returns to his tiny home village to win back his childhood sweetheart only to be told she never existed.”

Wow, I like it! But I agree with what StellaAurora says
on A man having an affair with a married woman discovers his wife is having an affair with her husband.

It sound interesting a comedy about that. You have a plot point but not the protagonist's motivation... what should he do? what must he do? Why did he do that?? You can add an adjective? that answer that, for example;…
on A knight assembles a clandestine operation in order to rescue the princess of Jerusalem from the infamous king during the crusades.

I think his logline is about the plan more than the action of rescuing. I think It could be like this: ...during the crusades, a knight must rescue a princess to save her kingdom before they kill her. Because the…
on When a young woman falls in love with a pet shop worker, she must escape her animal cult family.

it sounds great a comedy about that, but the cult is a group of people who kill animals? or people who love animals? I don't get it. I think? you should write the protagonist's risk, for example: ... She must…
on Upon successful human cloning, the mother and the Military of USA destroy the Earth, to redefine “Mankind” and “Humanity” on a recreated Earth.

It sounds great but I can not find the protagonist of your story, so it is empty in that sense. Also... Whose is mother? The mother is a very important character to be in the story??
on A man runs from a stranger though a narrow alleyway out in front of a car, but then suddenly he is the stranger seeing himself enter the same alleyway, can he prevent his own accident?

I think it has potential, but there are still many things that have not yet been defined. For example, the risk you must overcome. Also I feel there are things to spare.