A sleek female sports agent struggles to get her papers from the evils of this world and beyond.

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THE AWAKENING IN LA

2 reviews

Francois Thoolen · Penpusher · 50 pts

I also think it's to abstract. It's better that you specify what you mean by the evils of this world.

Good luck!

Richiev · Singularity · 58,825 pts

I'm not sure there is enough to go on with this logline.

Why does a sports agent need papers? What papers? What will happen if she doesn't get her papers? How do you get papers from the evils of this world and beyond?

With a little clarification the readers will have a better understanding of what this story is about and help you sell you story.

Hope that helped, good luck with this!