An engineer accused of treason goes on the lam to recover the fastest train in the West, which has been stolen by a notorious outlaw to pull off a million-dollar robbery.

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western-adventure

5 reviews

hows this?
An (character flaw) Engineer struggles on the Iam to prove her innocence, a stolen train, a million dollars and a notorious outlaw stand between her and freedom...

Pzeidman

I think it's still a bit wordy, but you are close!

It never occurred to me that some people might not understand "goes on the lam," so try this on for size:

"An engineer accused of treason runs from the law in order to clear her name and recover the fastest train in the West, which has been stolen by a notorious outlaw to pull off a million-dollar robbery."

My only concern - too wordy? or does it still work?

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