As her induction into a satanic coven grows near, a young half witch half human must decide whether to join her family and pledge her soul to satan in return for unlimited power, or renounce her witch abilities and immortality to remain in the human world with her friends and the boy she loves.

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This logline is for a TV series that already exists and is part of an exercise for the Screen Canberra Developer POD

1 review

Scott Danzig · Wordsmith · 1,585 pts

It's a little weird referring to a witch as a race/species like that. Another problem that's biting at me is that once she chooses, where is the story? You're missing the part about what the half witch actually needs to do. Lastly, it seems wordy. I'd try to trim it down to focus on the most key details to the plot and the hook. Like for instance, "join her family and" doesn't seem to enough to warrant its inclusion in the logline. And maybe not "remaining in the human world" nor the "friends" are that important either. Stuff like that.