At a popular theme park the new dancer/actor must try to survive and find the killer when employees begin to disappear and die before she becomes their next victim.

Interesting concept. Use an adjective to describe your lead. What kind of person will begin this journey? Also, if she is dealing with a killer, writing "disappear and die..." is redundant. What is the threat? She is fighting to stay alive.

thanks everyone for your help and suggestions...this is a great learning tool !

In most movies where there is an unpopular teen, they have a quirky but equally unpopular friend, Mean Girls would be an example.

However in this case the 'friend' wouldn't necessarily have to work at the theme park. In fact the friends death/disappearance could be the reason the lead joins the troop in the first place, to investigate from the inside.

However I wrote two versions of a logline, one with a friend as the inciting incident one without.