Nia wakes after dying in an unknown realm, and learns she must uncover how she died. Being partnered with a man who won’t even talk to her, she must work with new allies and overcome hardships with her partner in order to save them all from the crumbling leadership threatening their existence.

To many things going on. That being said the idea ?itself is very cool whittle it down and it will be amazing.

Agreed with DPG.

This logline is even longer than the last, but describes an equally small amount of detail. Please remember, without details a logline is a vague statement - the opposite of what it should be.

Here are some examples of what I mean:
- "...Nia..." - no need to mention character names in a logline (unless a historical or biopic story).
- The MC dying is the inciting incident, you need to describe whether or not this was accidental or on purpose - did she kill herself? Was she murdered? Did she die of sickness? I suggest it was a murder for this to be a more significant out of the ordinary event for her.
- "...learns she must uncover..." - How does she learn? What happens to her that makes her NEED to do this?
- the mysterious man is an ally, it isn't necessary to describe him in the logline unless he is VITAL to the plot - he doesn't seem to be vital from the logline.
- "...overcome hardships..." is a generic description of what all good MCs do in all good stories. WHAT ARE THE HARDSHIPS IN YOUR STORY? Describe the main one in detail?
- "...crumbling leadership..." - what does this mean? Is there a dictator in the afterlife? Are there demons threatening to drag them all to hell? What SPECIFICALLY is at stake?

I think there is also a problem with causality. The causal connection between the inciting incident - her death, and her goal - either finding out the truth or helping the other spirits, needs to be made clear.

The logline still lacks a clear, concise, specific statement of what the story is about.

A logline should describe a plot. ?And a plot is about a protagonist pursuing one objective goal. ? Not two objective goals, but one. This logline describes a protagonist with two objective goals: ?1] she must uncover how she died., and 2] she must save some people from a vague failure of leadership.

Why must she find out how she died? ?What difference will it make? ?What will it change? (A plot is always about change.) ?Will it able her to undo her death? ?What's at stake?

How must she save them from a "crumbling leadership threatening their existence"? ?Exactly what is the threat to their existence? And again, what is at stake if she fails to do whatever she's supposed to do?

What is the one is the objective goal that drives the plot? Pick one?and build the plot and logline around it.