Professional: The Faunus Rights Revolution is a thematically charged action and war drama, centered around a trio of young Faunus fighting to save their people from persecution, deportation, and death at the hands of Humanity. Commercial: In the world of Remnant, the Faunus face oppression and deportation at the hands of humans. Three young heroes join the resistance to defend their people.

Hi David,

Check out the 'Formula' tab on the top bar for more information about logline conventions.

You need a lead character (And you should give a one or two-word description of their personality)
You need a face to the bad guy (Saying 'humans' is very broad, you need a specific human who represents the oppression)
What is? the objective goal (Join the resistance and defend their people is vague, what specifically must they do, must they blow up a bridge, kidnap a specific leader, how will they resist)

The good news is this concept sounds intriguing
However, the logline needs a few specifics if it is to draw in the reader

So it's about a non human specie leading a revolution against the human oppression. Trick with such films lie in the ability to make your audience empathise more for the in-human

You've posted your film description and tagline, but the Logline is absent. The three mandatory components (we believe) necessary for a great logline are:
? the story's first major event or ?Inciting Incident?
? the hero's function or role in the story
? the hero's goal or main action in the story
After which your logline must raise this one question only -- "will the hero achieve his goal?"
While your logline raises many, including -- Which of the three is your protagonist? What incites them to join the resistance? & As a result, what becomes his/her objective goal?
Loglines with a fiction premise such as this, benefit from establishing the setting prior to the event-role-goal, such as -- "Under human subjugation, when the mythical specie of Faunus are faced with jarring immorality, a young faun with his two close friends must ____[reach this goal/do this action]...

Although optional, It benefits greatly from an inciting incident which implies 1) the hero's weakness/flaw (e.g. headstrong, timid, solitary, cocky, depressed), 2) an obstacle(s) and/or the Antagonist & 3) the stakes

You might wanna research Avatar (2009) by James Cameron, thoroughly. Good Luck DavidPassmoreAIE!!