A mercenary teams up with a prince to rescue a princess who was kidnapped by her father who is an evil emperor.

by Tony Byrd · Mentor · 830 pts March 2, 2020 112 views

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4 reviews

Tony Byrd · Mentor · 830 pts March 4, 2020

I'm done.

variable · Maestro · 6,820 pts March 4, 2020

- Two childhood friends, including a mercenary and a prince falls in love with each other in space until they decide to stop an evil emperor from having the town being invaded by aliens

a mercenary and a prince.. who is your protagonist?
'falling in love' should not be confused as the inciting incident.
It doesn't bring the story into action. Think of a specific event which makes her go against the emperor
OR think what's at stake. She's in outer space, what does she have to lose with this invasion?

Tony Byrd · Mentor · 830 pts March 3, 2020

I revised it.

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When an unhappy couple’s argument causes the man to storm out, he orders a service to resolve the fight on his behalf, unaware that a doppelganger is stealing his relationship in the process.

(REVISED) When the newly appointed Sheriff of Sweetwater on a colony of Mars stumbles on a plan to destroy the town to make room for an illegal worm farm, he and his friends must defend it from a megalomaniac Soybean Magnate.

1880s London: As an American assassin struggles with her dead father’s vengeful spirit, a mysterious cult attempts to brainwash her into killing Queen Victoria.

(REVISED.) When the reluctant Sheriff of Sweetwater on a colony of Mars stumbles on a plan to destroy the town to make room for an illegal worm farm, he and his friends have to defend the town he loves from a megalomaniac Soybean Magnate.

When the Sheriff of Sweetwater, Mars stumbles on a plan to destroy the town to make room for an illegal worm farm, he and his friends have to defend the town from destruction by a megalomaniac Soybean Magnate.

When an eighteen year old boy who yearns for a great adventure is gifted extraordinary powers, he must learn to balance his emotions while fate bodes a reality he is not prepared to face.