When a Commander of the largest military force in the universe, telepathically thwarts an assassination attempt by an obstinately powerful female warrior. He tricks her into facing and ultimately destroying her evil mirror double. A double that’s the source of her own power.

That whole telepathic stuff sounds great for how the commander defeats the assassin warrior, but it doesn't belong in the logline.? It's written more like a synopsis, where you just say how the hero wins the day... the end.? What you want to do is explain the situation, and what the hero must figure out how to do.

After an attempted assassination of the Commander of the largest military force in the universe, he finds himself pitted against an obstinately powerful warrior and must find a way to defeat her.

Maybe that?

I have to agree with the others, The logline is written as if the Commander is the lead character, but the Warrior seems more sympathetic.

As yqwertz inquired.? The commander seems to be in the driver's seat of the plot, ergo, the protagonist.? In any case,, he comes off as an unsympathetic top dog.? I presume the audience is supposed to root for the underdog, the female warrior.?? If that is the case, then the logline should be framed from the pov of the character the audience is to root for.