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1 review
Strengths Well-defined POV Clear, difficult goal Filmable incident Stakes and urgency Causality and coherence Concision No hedging
Needs work Active protagonist Specificity Action, not decision
I loved the idea of characters complaining about the world that surrounds them.
But I'd like to know more details about the characters lives and way of thinking: are they lower-class? how do they know each other? why do they think the system doesn't work for them? what do they do to fight for the change?
Also, I need more explanations about certains terms in your logline. What kind of ancestral help? Does an old familiar of one of the kids help them to change their perception?
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