1. Posted: September 22, 2013In:

    Four 15 year old boys join a secret anti-terrorist association, who hunt down terrorists for a living. Now they must protect the streets of Seattle from a pernicious terrorist and his nefarious army of agents before it?s too late.

    agyeiwaa

    Hi, two things... (1) Anti-terrorist associations obviously "hunt down terrorists for a living" -- lose it. (2) You seem to be explaining too much. The idea of a log line is short and gripping so, lose some of the words and make it tighter. What do you think of this... " Four fifteen year old boys jRead more

    Hi, two things… (1) Anti-terrorist associations obviously “hunt down terrorists for a living” — lose it. (2) You seem to be explaining too much. The idea of a log line is short and gripping so, lose some of the words and make it tighter. What do you think of this…

    ” Four fifteen year old boys join a secret anti-terrorist association, hoping to protect the streets of Seattle from a pernicious terrorist and his army…?

    All the best.

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  2. Posted: August 5, 2013In:

    After being the sole survivor of a gangland style drugstore robbery. A charismatic youth pastor retires and plots to kill the ones who left him for dead.

    agyeiwaa

    Too many words here. Remember, less is more with log lines. Try this out... (1) After surviving a gang style attack, a youth pastor goes for the kill OR (2) After surviving a gang style attack, a youth pastor has revenge in mind, refusing to leave vengeance to God. All the best.

    Too many words here. Remember, less is more with log lines. Try this out… (1) After surviving a gang style attack, a youth pastor goes for the kill OR (2) After surviving a gang style attack, a youth pastor has revenge in mind, refusing to leave vengeance to God.
    All the best.

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