1. Posted: June 16, 2023In:

    When the identity of a missing girl is reported to be the niece of the head of the CCTV department, she must review the footage to uncover the mystery behind her niece’s disappearance.

    amandis98 Penpusher

    That she just must review the footage to figure out the mystery don't feel like a big enough "must". what are the stakes? what happens if she don't figure it out. if you can see it on the tapes the movie will be over very fast. just some thoughts.

    That she just must review the footage to figure out the mystery don’t feel like a big enough “must”. what are the stakes? what happens if she don’t figure it out. if you can see it on the tapes the movie will be over very fast. just some thoughts.

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  2. Posted: February 28, 2023In:

    A middle-aged man’s obsession with storytelling traps him in a mystical world of his own creation, where he must navigate dangerous obstacles and confront his deepest fears in order to escape. With the guidance of a wise owl, Cameron discovers that the only way out is to confront the darker aspects of his imagination and find the courage to embrace reality once again

    amandis98 Penpusher

    or would something like: "when a struggling writer becomes trapped in his own fantastical world, Cameron, a middle-aged man who finds comfort in storytelling, must find his way back to reality before his obsession becomes his undoing. As he journeys through his own imagination, facing dangerous obstRead more

    or would something like: “when a struggling writer becomes trapped in his own fantastical world, Cameron, a middle-aged man who finds comfort in storytelling, must find his way back to reality before his obsession becomes his undoing. As he journeys through his own imagination, facing dangerous obstacles and battling inner demons, Cameron must confront the painful memories that have led him to lose himself in his own tales. ” be better?

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  3. Posted: February 28, 2023In:

    After his son leaves a stolen item in his possession, 80-year-old Roy must go on the run from the police to clear his name, a journey which forces him to choose between his family and doing what is right.

    amandis98 Penpusher

    I think that logline sounds pretty interesting! It sets up the conflict and stakes of the story clearly and makes me curious to see how Roy's journey will play out. It also has a relatable and emotional dilemma at its core - choosing between family and doing what's right - which I think could resonaRead more

    I think that logline sounds pretty interesting! It sets up the conflict and stakes of the story clearly and makes me curious to see how Roy’s journey will play out. It also has a relatable and emotional dilemma at its core – choosing between family and doing what’s right – which I think could resonate with a lot of people. However, it may benefit from some additional details to make it more engaging and unique. For example, what is the stolen item and why did Roy’s son steal it? What specific obstacles does Roy face as he goes on the run? Overall, it’s a solid logline that could work as a starting point for the story. Good job Amy

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