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When it seems his past will destroy his future, a successful young man turns vigilante.
Hi! I'm not a pro in logline so this is just my opinion. Using the verb "seems" feels unclear and it feels like your logline is missing a real clear action. I don't understand the reason why he turns vigilante. What is going to change for him by doing that? I would say: When a successful young man rRead more
Hi!
I’m not a pro in logline so this is just my opinion.
Using the verb “seems” feels unclear and it feels like your logline is missing a real clear action. I don’t understand the reason why he turns vigilante. What is going to change for him by doing that?
I would say: When a successful young man realizes that his past will destroy his future, he turns vigilante and helps/ do something…. in order to ….
something like that.
Hope it helps 🙂
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