1. Posted: February 21, 2015In:

    A man?s drunken persona comes to life revealing a dark side.

    antant

    Thanks Nir, I think I was trying to keep it short and punchy. Here is a re-write, taking in the story, hero, achieve feedback: "Andrew, a working class Australian just wants to have a few and watch the cricket, but a dark side is revealed when his drunken persona awakens in the form of the three sheRead more

    Thanks Nir,

    I think I was trying to keep it short and punchy. Here is a re-write, taking in the story, hero, achieve feedback:

    “Andrew, a working class Australian just wants to have a few and watch the cricket, but a dark side is revealed when his drunken persona awakens in the form of the three sheets blowing to life from the washing line. Andrew must now try and control his demons before they destroy his house.”

    Regards

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