1. Posted: March 10, 2016In:

    After leaving prison, two aging con men go straight by opening a coffee shop but get pulled into mob-like turf war with the other caf?s in a small seaside town.

    Carang Penpusher

    Excellent. It clearly states the protagonist, their goal and the obstacles in their way. It definitely intrigues one to imagine the different scenarios, even comedic that can arise from the situation. One can wonder, that is what one wants the reader to do, how they will be challenged and how they wRead more

    Excellent. It clearly states the protagonist, their goal and the obstacles in their way. It definitely intrigues one to imagine the different scenarios, even comedic that can arise from the situation. One can wonder, that is what one wants the reader to do, how they will be challenged and how they will survive. If your aim is to have them running all the mafias (the opposite of their goal),? then you should include this as the main twist and conclusion to the story.

    See less
    • 0
  2. Posted: August 23, 2012In:

    A who woman seeks help is murdered. Driven by a sense of moral obligation Kaameleon breaks a promise and returns to prison. Beaten, starved, terrorized and humiliated. Can he survive the sadistic guard targeting him to find what happened to five missing inmates? Kaameleon?s personality is the driving force keeping his people working to insure his survival.

    Carang Penpusher

    Thanks.

    Thanks.

    See less
    • 0
  3. Posted: July 27, 2012In:

    Rosie, a successful businesswoman, finds herself floundering in the search for her one true love. When a handsome stranger comes into her life she must decide if she?s ready to settle down, or if there?s more to life than white picket fences.

    Carang Penpusher

    It already explains the plot. No 'hook' to make me interested.

    It already explains the plot. No ‘hook’ to make me interested.

    See less
    • 0