1. Posted: July 8, 2016In:

    When a nice holiday cruise turns bloody, a detective and failed parent must take down the threat and regain his self-worth.

    Marcello Lanfranchi Logliner

    Are the detective and failed parent the same person? I assume so, because you'd have phrased it as *a* failed parent if they're two different people. I'd also specify whether it's a police detective, PI, federal investigator, or some other kind of detective.

    Are the detective and failed parent the same person? I assume so, because you’d have phrased it as *a* failed parent if they’re two different people. I’d also specify whether it’s a police detective, PI, federal investigator, or some other kind of detective.

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  2. Posted: July 6, 2016In:

    Using stolen prediction software a cocksure hacker makes a fortune in sports bets, but when it predicts his death within three days, he must find out how he dies without dying in the process.

    Marcello Lanfranchi Logliner

    Do you mean "cheat his *way* through life"?

    Do you mean “cheat his *way* through life”?

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  3. Posted: July 6, 2016In:

    A bipolar divorcee blackmails a self-absorbed family man to keep their affair alive and reignite her sex drive when he suddenly disowns her.

    Marcello Lanfranchi Logliner

    Just one suggestion: "after he disowns her," not "when."

    Just one suggestion: “after he disowns her,” not “when.”

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