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After the humongous planet destroying meteor vanishes from the sky right before impacting Earth, a troubled priest must help his congregation recover while dealing with the fact, at the moment the destruction of the earth was eminent he denied God.
After earth is miraculously saved from a life-destroying meteor, a priest must confront his failure of faith, that when all seemed lost, he denied the existence of God.(28 words)My version deletes??his having to help his congregation recover because?I do?not see how they would need to?'recover' fromRead more
After earth is miraculously saved from a life-destroying meteor, a priest must confront his failure of faith, that when all seemed lost, he denied the existence of God.
(28 words)
My version deletes??his having to help his congregation recover because?I do?not see how they would need to?’recover’ from being saved, from having their prayers answered. On the contrary, they would be?relieved,?exultant, their faith strengthened.
It seems to me it’s the priest who is in need of recovery–from his lack of faith.
And that?seems to me to be?a subjective dramatic problem:? how does that?work out in terms of an objective goal?
One?dramatic problem??I can imagine is that while?riddled with guilt and shame about his own failure of faith, he’s besieged ?with? atheists and agnostics (like me!) wanting his counsel and support as they are eager, desperate, to affirm?their own faith in God.
fwiw
See lessTrapped in an all-night bank siege, a by-the-book bank teller must outwit both cops and robbers to escape with 100k from the bank?s vault to pay-off his brothers gambling debt.
Trapped in an all-night bank siege, a bank teller seizes?the opportunity to outwit both cops and robbers and steal 100k to pay off his brother's debts.Although it would ?make more sense to me if the stakes?were commensurate with the risk being taken.? That is,? he needs to pay off his own gambling dRead more
Trapped in an all-night bank siege, a bank teller seizes?the opportunity to outwit both cops and robbers and steal 100k to pay off his brother’s debts.
Although it would ?make more sense to me if the stakes?were commensurate with the risk being taken.? That is,? he needs to pay off his own gambling debts.? Or those of his wife/lover/significant other.???Still, I am hooked by the general concept.? I? guess I’ll just have to read the script to find out why he’s taking so much risk on himself for the sake of his? (irresponsible?) brother.????So in that sense of?a logline’s purpose, mission accomplished.
See lessWhen a disillusioned Hollywood actor takes a break in a small Australian town, he falls for a local girl who makes him question his life and the people in it. But when his dream role is offered he finds himself being manipulated back into his old life.
Once again, your logline neatly breaks down into 3 logical?phases: Setup:? a protagonist with a character flaw When a disillusioned Hollywood actor takes a break in a small Australian town... Inciting Incident and??Resulting Conflict: ...he falls for a local girl who makes him question his life andRead more
Once again, your logline neatly breaks down into 3 logical?phases:
Setup😕 a protagonist with a character flaw
When a disillusioned Hollywood actor takes a break in a small Australian town…
Inciting Incident and??Resulting Conflict:
…he falls for a local girl who makes him question his life and the people in it.
Mid-point pivot & 3rd Act Crisis:
But when his dream role is offered he finds himself being manipulated into his old life.
However, I still wonder if there is?sufficient?conflict in the??romantic relationship to engage an audience’s interest, make them root for the couple.? What, exactly, is there about the “local girl” that could make him question his own life?? And what is there about the “local girl” that would simultaneously attract him to her as well as create obstacles that might? doom their relationship?
Is it possible that the love interest could not just be a “local girl”, but an Aboriginal girl?? One deeply rooted in and committed to the land and her tribal culture.? I have not (yet) ventured south of the equator to the Great Down Under, but??I grew up in the American West so I am acutely aware of the plight and concerns? of? the U.S.’s own aboriginals,?the ?Native American tribes.? Hence,? the dramatic possibilities .? For example, it would enable a strong, amusing?”meet cute” scene to set the stage for romance that will blossom.
Backing up a bit, “taking a break” seems to me to be a weak motivation for?an?Hollywood actor to?take refuge?nearly half a world away from Hollywood in ?rural Australia. More than “taking a break” it seems to me the motivation for getting so?far from Tinsel Town needs to be more compelling.? Like, he’s on the run from scandal,? or drug abuse,? or a string of failed?movies that have made him box-office poison, or maybe from the law itself — or all the above.?? His career and?personal life are in ruins.
Consequently, this would raise the dramatic tension and ?stakes when? he’s given a dream role.?? Why?? Because,? he know it’s a sure-fire winner,? an Oscar role that will enable to redeem his career, get back in the game–get revenge on his critics. (Success being the sweetest revenge there is.)
Finally,? I suggest that there would be more dramatic tension if the? source of the 3rd Act threat is not external, others manipulating him, but rather internal: he’s sorely tempted by his dreams, his lust, for fame and fortune — symptoms of the character flaw that? got him in so much trouble in the first place.
fwiw
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