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  1. Posted: March 14, 2016In: Horror

    A grieving mother uses ancient magic to resurrect her recently deceased daughter despite her own mother?s dire warnings resulting in deadly consequences for those closest to her.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on March 15, 2016 at 7:23 am

    Although I concur that the wording may be extraneous for the logline, I'm guessing the grandmother's warnings are central to the plot.? IOW:? they foreshadow the? dramatic problem the?mother is creating by raising her daughter.That's intuitively sound and comports with the mythology? paradigm:? everRead more

    Although I concur that the wording may be extraneous for the logline, I’m guessing the grandmother’s warnings are central to the plot.? IOW:? they foreshadow the? dramatic problem the?mother is creating by raising her daughter.

    That’s intuitively sound and comports with the mythology? paradigm:? every magical gift comes with a hefty price tag,?? with consequences that are?often ?foreseen — and always unheeded.? (Because if they were heeded, there wouldn’t be a story.)

    Again, we need to know what the consequences?are of?raising her daughter.? That seems to be what the plot is about.

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  2. Posted: March 15, 2016In: Thriller

    Decide

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on March 15, 2016 at 3:52 am

    It would indeed be a mystery for a couple to be stranded on a deserted??Golden Gate bridge, a central artery of transportation in and out of San Francisco. Unfortunately, "the horrors" is just?too general; it?fails to conjure up an image -- and film is a visual medium -- as to exactly what the existRead more

    It would indeed be a mystery for a couple to be stranded on a deserted??Golden Gate bridge, a central artery of transportation in and out of San Francisco.

    Unfortunately, “the horrors” is just?too general; it?fails to conjure up an image — and film is a visual medium — as to exactly what the existential threat is.

    Also “must reveal a painful truth” seems to relate to a subjective need in their relationship.? But while a subjective need is essential to a well-plotted story, it is extraneous to a logline.? A logline is explicitly?about objective goals that?characters ?want, not their subjective needs. (Subjective needs?factor into loglines?implicitly as character flaws — what?characters must overcome to realize their explicitly defined objective goals.)

    So then, when the couple find themselves stranded on a deserted bridge, what becomes their objective goal?? Who or what threatens them — what is the horror?

    And what is?at stake?? Their relationship?? Their lives?

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  3. Posted: March 14, 2016In: Fantasy

    When the Devil steals the Grim Reaper’s power source, her scythe, releasing the undead on the earth, Death must reunite with her estranged brothers, regain her powers and stop the Apocalypse.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on March 15, 2016 at 1:51 am

    It seems to me that the logline sets up a complicated scenario that requires a logline reader (and movie audience) to suspend disbelief on too many plot elements. ?It raises too many questions --in my mind, anyway -- that require an explanation to believe the premise. 1] A devil who can -- and wantsRead more

    It seems to me that the logline sets up a complicated scenario that requires a logline reader (and movie audience) to suspend disbelief on too many plot elements. ?It raises too many questions –in my mind, anyway — that require an explanation to believe the premise.

    1] A devil who can — and wants to ?– steal the scythe. (Say what?? The grim reaper isn’t an employee of the Devil? ?It may come as a divine revelation to some that the grim reaper is an independent operator.)
    2] A grim reaper who has brothers. (??? ?Another divine revelation that needs to be explained.)
    3]”Undead” (Zombies? ?If not, what kind of undead?)
    4]An Apocalypse. ?(Literally or metaphorically? ?And how? What’s the cause-and- effect relationship between stealing the scythe and?the Apocalypse.)

    The, uh, devil is in the details. And there are too many for me. ?Other’s mileage may differ.

    fwiw

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