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  1. Posted: November 3, 2015In: Student Loglines

    In order to take care of her recently orphaned younger sister, a broke twentysomething decides to sleep around with married men with the intention of blackmailing them, lest she expose them for their infidelity.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on November 5, 2015 at 10:44 am

    Paul Clarke's? version is better --- but isn't the real story --which is to say, the plot -- about what happens after she actually blackmails the man ?? Isn't the affair with a married man just a set up?

    Paul Clarke’s? version is better — but isn’t the real story –which is to say, the plot — about what happens after she actually blackmails the man ?? Isn’t the affair with a married man just a set up?

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  2. Posted: November 4, 2015In: Drama

    CELTIC BAYOU embodies the triumph of the human spirit against all odds, as it tells the story of Gretchen Stevens, a teen-aged pupil at an all-girls dance academy who must confront a tyrannical substitute teacher, devious fellow students, past physical injuries and her own troubled past; all of which stand between her and her life’s dream.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on November 5, 2015 at 10:32 am

    As Nir Shelter said. Further: in a movie, a protagonist should always being striving to achieve their biggest dream and you indicate that is what she is doing.? Good.? But the logline doesn't say exactly? what her biggest dream is.? It should. The logline reader, the director, the star, the audienceRead more

    As Nir Shelter said.

    Further: in a movie, a protagonist should always being striving to achieve their biggest dream and you indicate that is what she is doing.? Good.? But the logline doesn’t say exactly? what her biggest dream is.? It should. The logline reader, the director, the star, the audience –everyone needs tp need to know the visual that informs them that she has, indeed, made her dream come true.

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  3. Posted: October 31, 2015In: War

    As the United Nations attempt to bring stability to the city of Dajar after the fall of a tyrannical regime, the lines between peacekeepers and soldiers become blurred when a new warlord rises and begins to butcher his way through Somalia.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on October 31, 2015 at 11:29 pm

    The logline establishes a situation full of conflict -- but, alas, does not delineate a plot that follows as a result of the conflict.Who is the protagonist in? this civil war?? Given the turmoil and instability, what is his mission, his objective goal?? What must he do? before/or else (the stakes)?

    The logline establishes a situation full of conflict — but, alas, does not delineate a plot that follows as a result of the conflict.

    Who is the protagonist in? this civil war?? Given the turmoil and instability, what is his mission, his objective goal?? What must he do? before/or else (the stakes)?

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