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  1. Posted: October 9, 2015In: Examples

    When offered to write for Rolling Stone Magazine, an innocent high-school boy must join a rock band on a wild tour to reach his dream of becoming a music-journalist.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on October 9, 2015 at 6:45 am

    Based on true events, in 1972, a precocious 15-year old boy gets a writing gig from Rolling Stone magazine and sets out on a wild cross-country bus Odyssey with a struggling rock band. (33 words) Without "Based on true events" the logline comes in at 29 words, under my 30 word ideal max.? But the scRead more

    Based on true events, in 1972, a precocious 15-year old boy gets a writing gig from Rolling Stone magazine and sets out on a wild cross-country bus Odyssey with a struggling rock band. (33 words)

    Without “Based on true events” the logline comes in at 29 words, under my 30 word ideal max.? But the screenwriter, Cameron Crowe, was writing from experience.; it’s semi-autobiographical (the names have been changed to protect the guilty.)? He actually did get a writing gig as a teenager with Rolling Stone in the early 70’s.? Truth is always stranger than fiction — and when it is true and stranger than fiction, it’s constitutes a hook, a selling point to pique interest in the script .? (And? the purpose of a logline is to sel the premise, make people want to read the script.)? In my calculus, the 4 extra words strengthen the logline, not dilute it.

    “Odyssey”? implies a series of adventures, of course, but it also implies a meaningful, life transforming series of adventures.? Which is what? the bus tour was for the real life author and his fictional self.? It’s a coming of age story — and one of my personal favorites. As well as a favorite movie set in the golden era of rock music.

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  2. Posted: October 8, 2015In: SciFi

    Deep in the trenches of a secret war against monsters that threaten humanity, a battle-weary young woman struggles to prepare her new trainee for combat when the truth behind her sister?s death on the frontlines comes to light.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on October 8, 2015 at 8:29 am

    As Nir Shelter said. What does discovering the death of her sister have to do with the plot?? Is it an inciting incident that sets up her objective plot goal??? Or is it something she discovers while already in pursuit of her objective goal?? If the latter, it's extraneous for the purpose of the logRead more

    As Nir Shelter said.

    What does discovering the death of her sister have to do with the plot?? Is it an inciting incident that sets up her objective plot goal??? Or is it something she discovers while already in pursuit of her objective goal?? If the latter, it’s extraneous for the purpose of the logline.? If the former, then a cause and effect relationship needs to be clearly stated between the death and her objective goal.

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  3. Posted: October 8, 2015In: Examples

    When he is released by a white bounty hunter, a black slave must travel through the country in search of his lost wife.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on October 8, 2015 at 4:07 am

    Django Unchained After a slave is freed by a German bounty hunter, they set out to rescue his wife from a brutal Mississippi plantation owner. (23 words) Although the script had a 3 word hook guaranteed to get a reading; "by Quentin Tarantino".

    Django Unchained

    After a slave is freed by a German bounty hunter, they set out to rescue his wife from a brutal Mississippi plantation owner. (23 words)

    Although the script had a 3 word hook guaranteed to get a reading; “by Quentin Tarantino”.

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