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When an explorer’s ancient necklace is stolen, she must retrieve it before it is used for evil.
As mikepedley 85 said:? what is so magical about the necklace?? And who stole it?? In "Raiders of the Lost Ark" the power of Ark of the Covenant to destroy armies is part of the legend.? And the villains who want to aquire the Ark to exploit that power are Nazis.? So the stakes are self-evident andRead more
As mikepedley 85 said:? what is so magical about the necklace?? And who stole it?? In “Raiders of the Lost Ark” the power of Ark of the Covenant to destroy armies is part of the legend.? And the villains who want to aquire the Ark to exploit that power are Nazis.? So the stakes are self-evident and ultra-high and Indiana Jones is highly motivated.
See lessA memory damaged young man wakes impossibly from a long-term coma determined to find himself before it’s too late
A logline is a statement of a protagonist's pursuit of a specific objective goal. An objective goal is concrete; that is, a goal that can be seen, can be visualized on screen.? For example, if a protagonist's objective goal is to win a race, then the visual that confirms his reaching that goal wouldRead more
A logline is a statement of a protagonist’s pursuit of a specific objective goal. An objective goal is concrete; that is, a goal that can be seen, can be visualized on screen.? For example, if a protagonist’s objective goal is to win a race, then the visual that confirms his reaching that goal would be his breaking the tape, crossing the finish life first.? If the goal is to graduate from college, then the visual might be the character receiving her diploma during the graduation ceremony.
So what will the visual moment “find himself” look like at the end of the story? What will the audience see?
See lessAn old, abusive slave owner switches body with his slave who gives him a taste of his own medicine
In spite of the work it needs (as pointed out by others), the logline has an interesting hook. Ergo, it has potential. A logline with a good hook can always be salvaged. (A logline without a good hook is, IMHO, DOA.)So what might be done to to improve this logline?Well, as pointed out it needs a creRead more
In spite of the work it needs (as pointed out by others), the logline has an interesting hook. Ergo, it has potential. A logline with a good hook can always be salvaged. (A logline without a good hook is, IMHO, DOA.)
So what might be done to to improve this logline?
Well, as pointed out it needs a credible inciting incident. It does not seem credible to me that a slave master would voluntarily switch roles with his slave. Why would he? On the other hand, it is credible that a slave would want to switch places with his slave owner.
But how could that happen? Well, there would need to be some magic hocus pocus (voodoo?) that the slave has a once in a lifetime opportunity to exploit. What could that be? I dunno. I suggest some spade work is in order; research superstitions and magical beliefs that prevailed in the slave culture.
Since the impetus for the inciting incident would entail some magic, the story doesn’t really qualify as an historical genre piece. More accurately, it should be tagged as a fantastical drama. Or a dark comedy if that’s how you want to play it.
Finally, I suggest incorporating some gender role issues into the master-slave relationship. That is make the slave a female. The form of abuse he inflicts on her could be sexual. But when roles are switched, and she becomes now the master and he the slave, it’s pay back time, a #MeToo reckoning.
Hope this helps.
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