1. Posted: December 9, 2019In:

    When criminals mistake him for one of their own during a botched drug deal he?s observing, a nervous novelist, researching his latest book, goes undercover for the police to bring a notorious crime lord to justice.

    dpg Singularity

    Suggest the police spurn his help.? So, on his own initiative, he collects enough evidence to catch and convict the bad guys on his own,? Oh, and concurrently collects the research he needs to write his book.?A two-fer OG?? Hmm.? Something to think about.Except that if he's trying to juggle a dual ORead more

    Suggest the police spurn his help.? So, on his own initiative, he collects enough evidence to catch and convict the bad guys on his own,? Oh, and concurrently collects the research he needs to write his book.?

    A two-fer OG?? Hmm.? Something to think about.

    Except that if he’s trying to juggle a dual OG, then implicitly t must inevitably lead to a crisis, a dilemma where he can either get the bad guys or get the inside scoop for his book — but not both.

    FWIW.

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  2. Posted: December 9, 2019In: , ,

    When an all-work-no-play high school valedictorian who has gotten into an A-list college discovers her party-animal peers also got into A-list colleges, she resolves to cram four years of fun into one night.

    dpg Singularity

    Karel:I agree that the protagonist wants to catch up on all the fun time she missed in high school.So maybe something like:When a high school overachiever discovers her party-animal peers also got into A-list colleges, she vows to cram four years of fun she missed into one night.(27 words)Although,Read more

    Karel:

    I agree that the protagonist wants to catch up on all the fun time she missed in high school.

    So maybe something like:

    When a high school overachiever discovers her party-animal peers also got into A-list colleges, she vows to cram four years of fun she missed into one night.

    (27 words)

    Although, technically her specific, concrete goal is to crash the graduation bash of the in-group — all the party animals whom she has openly despised (but secretly, unconsciously envied). Except she doesn’t know where the bash is being held.? Which takes her 1/2 the film to find out — the MPR.?

    But phrasing the logline that way falls short of? conveying the full sense of the film’s theme and her objective desire (and subjective need).? And my philosophy is that the prime operative of a logline is to sell the sizzle, not tell the story.?

    So…

    ?

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  3. Posted: December 7, 2019In:

    After discovering their world is never safe while his magic ring exists, a humble halfling must journey to the fire mountain where it was forged and destroy it while a dark lord seeks it to cover the land in darkness.

    dpg Singularity

    Mikepedley85:I confess that my SOP is to rapidly read a logline and quickly respond with my initial impressions, because that is the SOP? for how a logline will be read and processed by most folks in the industry.?? So, yes, I will occasionally misread a logline. And when I do that raises the questiRead more

    Mikepedley85:

    I confess that my SOP is to rapidly read a logline and quickly respond with my initial impressions, because that is the SOP? for how a logline will be read and processed by most folks in the industry.?? So, yes, I will occasionally misread a logline. And when I do that raises the question of where does the fault lie:? in my demented brain or in the wording of the logline?? Sometimes, the problem is my brain, sometimes the problem could be in the logline, sometimes both.

    In this case, I obviously missed the word “it”.? That said, I? think that “cover the land in darkness”, while metaphorically correct, fails to convey why the ring is such a tempting McGuffin.? Exactly what is so magical about the ring?? What does it mean to “cover the land in darkness”? The magic of the ring is that it gives its owner the power to rule Middle Earth.

    I agree with you that the inciting incident should be framed from the protagonist’s POV.?? And as I said, I don’t think Frodo initially comprehends how dangerous the ring is. Gandalf, older and wiser, does understand.? He has always understood.? But as soon as Frodo inherits the ring, does Gamdalf tell him he must immediately take the quest to destroy it?? No, Gandalf only admonishes him to keep his ownership of the ring a secret.

    Only after Gandalf discovers the dark lord has found out where the ring — the inciting incident — does he tell Frodo he must undertake the journey.

    And yes, loglines for imaginary worlds can be tricky.

    ?

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