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when a young woman confess to a murder she didn’t commit, a police detective must, on a deadline, do everything she can to solve the mystery or else let a murderer go free, and send an innocent to prison.
In what country is the story set? The logline is not credible, doesn't make any sense for how criminal procedure works in the United States.
In what country is the story set? The logline is not credible, doesn’t make any sense for how criminal procedure works in the United States.
See lessA naïve lawyer loses everything when he is targeted by an unscrupulous gang. He commits himself to infiltrating the group that wronged him to exact his revenge.
He's going to infiltrate a gang -- and no one is going to notice or suspect the outsider, the strange new face? Or recognize his appearance and voice? Aren't gangs tightly knit social units where new comers can only gain access by being vouched for someone who is already a bona fide insider? Also, tRead more
He’s going to infiltrate a gang — and no one is going to notice or suspect the outsider, the strange new face? Or recognize his appearance and voice?
Aren’t gangs tightly knit social units where new comers can only gain access by being vouched for someone who is already a bona fide insider?
Also, the logline lacks a clear statement of his game plan. “Exact his revenge” is vague, a generality. Loglines need to be clear and specific as to the plot, the action line of the story. *Exactly* how does he intend to take his revenge?
See lessA cold-hearted journalist records a documentary about a very talented e-sport player until she discovers the hardness of being born unlucky.
It seems he does have an inciting incident, but it 's affixed to the end of the logline: "Until she discovers the hardness of being born unlucky." But it's unclear to whom unlucky applies, the e-sport player or herself or...? But the logline lacks an action line toward an objective goal. So she discRead more
It seems he does have an inciting incident, but it ‘s affixed to the end of the logline: “Until she discovers the hardness of being born unlucky.” But it’s unclear to whom unlucky applies, the e-sport player or herself or…?
But the logline lacks an action line toward an objective goal. So she discovers that life is tough for the unlucky. Then what happens? What changes in her life, in the plot? What MUST she do about that realization? And why should the audience care?
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