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  1. Posted: January 30, 2015In: Public

    A girl in the Old West becomes the town judge, just before her outlaw aunt shows up.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on January 30, 2015 at 9:15 am

    As one who grew up in the West and is somewhat steeped in its lore (even about women folk), I am somewhat dubious about the premise of a woman judge in such a sexist era and society. (Were there any in the historical time and place in which the story is set?) But if the dramatic case for a woman judRead more

    As one who grew up in the West and is somewhat steeped in its lore (even about women folk), I am somewhat dubious about the premise of a woman judge in such a sexist era and society. (Were there any in the historical time and place in which the story is set?) But if the dramatic case for a woman judge can be made credible, or at least set up in such a way as to suspend disbelief, then I think it’s a promising premise.

    My principal concern about this logline is that it only presents an initial situation (A woman judge in the old west) and an inciting incident (her outlaw aunt comes to town). It lacks a plot: how, exactly, does the arrival of her wayward aunt complicate her job as judge? What specific problem and threat does it pose that the judge must respond to? What becomes her objective goal?

    And what are the stakes? That is, what does she stand to lose if she fails; what does she stand to gain if she succeeds?

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  2. Posted: January 30, 2015In: Public

    A girl in the Old West becomes the town judge, just before her outlaw aunt shows up.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on January 30, 2015 at 9:15 am

    As one who grew up in the West and is somewhat steeped in its lore (even about women folk), I am somewhat dubious about the premise of a woman judge in such a sexist era and society. (Were there any in the historical time and place in which the story is set?) But if the dramatic case for a woman judRead more

    As one who grew up in the West and is somewhat steeped in its lore (even about women folk), I am somewhat dubious about the premise of a woman judge in such a sexist era and society. (Were there any in the historical time and place in which the story is set?) But if the dramatic case for a woman judge can be made credible, or at least set up in such a way as to suspend disbelief, then I think it’s a promising premise.

    My principal concern about this logline is that it only presents an initial situation (A woman judge in the old west) and an inciting incident (her outlaw aunt comes to town). It lacks a plot: how, exactly, does the arrival of her wayward aunt complicate her job as judge? What specific problem and threat does it pose that the judge must respond to? What becomes her objective goal?

    And what are the stakes? That is, what does she stand to lose if she fails; what does she stand to gain if she succeeds?

    See less
    • 0
    • Share
      Share
      • Share on Facebook
      • Share on Twitter
      • Share on LinkedIn
      • Share on WhatsApp
  3. Posted: January 25, 2015In: Public

    A reticent young mother, grieving the death of her husband on 9 11 joins three widows who take on the U.S. government, looking for answers to the century?s most heinous crime

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on January 26, 2015 at 2:19 pm

    I could be wrong (Not for the first time!) Good luck with your writing.

    I could be wrong (Not for the first time!)

    Good luck with your writing.

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