1. Posted: October 5, 2019In:

    A recently engaged vain sports star is forced to compete in a drag queen competition. After a wealthy psychopath out bids him on an auction record breaking painting by a famous outsider artist.

    dpg Singularity

    There's a misslng bridge of causal logic between the 2 sentences.? The logline says nothing about the man who outbid him saying he will give the jock the painting if he dresses in drag. And others' mileage may vary, but I'm finding it difficult to suspend disbelief:? I would think vanity would makeRead more

    There’s a misslng bridge of causal logic between the 2 sentences.? The logline says nothing about the man who outbid him saying he will give the jock the painting if he dresses in drag.

    And others’ mileage may vary, but I’m finding it difficult to suspend disbelief:? I would think vanity would make him not want to dress in drag, even to obtain the painting.

    And why is it necessary to say he’s recently engaged?? What does that have to do with the dramatic problem?

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  2. Posted: October 5, 2019In:

    When her mother is brutally murdered, a family woman must find out who her mother was, in order to uncover what happened; but when a cult from her mother’s secret past starts to infiltrate her life , she must Mary and her family must escape indoctrination or risk becoming victims themselves.

    dpg Singularity

    Why does the cult perform human sacrifices?And If she is in danger of becoming a human sacrifice, it seems to me that the proper genre tag is Horror, not Thriller.Also, I'm guessing that they intend to sacrifice her is the Big Reveal that comes around the end of the 2nd Act,? some 70+ minutes into tRead more

    Why does the cult perform human sacrifices?

    And If she is in danger of becoming a human sacrifice, it seems to me that the proper genre tag is Horror, not Thriller.

    Also, I’m guessing that they intend to sacrifice her is the Big Reveal that comes around the end of the 2nd Act,? some 70+ minutes into the film.? What’s going on to hook and hold an audience’s interest for the 1st 70 minutes?

    ?

    ?

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  3. Posted: October 4, 2019In:

    A selfish millionaire, widowed to a radical terrorist academic that collected torture porn, attempts to teach her children the merits of assertiveness skills and socialist feminism

    dpg Singularity

    Shizz:I do not think that the paradigm of the Hero's Journey is suitable for any and all? story material.? For one thing, the paradigm was constructed out of archetypal and mythical elements that pertain to adolescent boys and young adult men.? Other paradigms have been proposed for adolescent girlsRead more

    Shizz:

    I do not think that the paradigm of the Hero’s Journey is suitable for any and all? story material.? For one thing, the paradigm was constructed out of archetypal and mythical elements that pertain to adolescent boys and young adult men.? Other paradigms have been proposed for adolescent girls and young adult women such as the “Virgin’s Promise” paradigm developed by Kim Hudson.? And still other paradigms are better suited to the distinctly different issues and challenges of? middle age and old age.

    That said,? drama is about conflict that results in change.? Change in knowledge; change in character; change in relationship; change in status. Usually the burden of change belongs to the protagonist.? But not always. Some times it is the dramatic task of a pivotal secondary character.

    Taking your logline at face value, it says the woman is “selfish”.? Well, isn’t that a flaw?? Isn’t that something that needs to be changed in her attitude and behavior?

    Also, she wants to teach her children certain skills and ideas.? Teaching entails change, from a state of ignorance to a state of knowledge, from being unskilled to becoming proficient. So the potential for change out of both necessity and desire seems to be embedded in your logline.

    I gather from your comment that you look askance at the corpus of generally accepted dramatic conventions.? I have a different point of view.? Enough said.

    ?

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