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A young Dutch woman is kidnapped by German agents who steal her fortune in diamonds and shoot her in an unsuccessful art sting, finally defeats her nemesis to recover her birthright and protect the man she shares it with. This is the second play in a trilogy and any comments would be appreciated.
As pzeidman said. As tempting as it may be to include them, a logline is not the venue to describe set pieces, trailer moments. And there's not enough room: the ideal maximum length for a logline is 30 words. The purpose of a logline is to succinctly state the essence of the plot. It requires strippRead more
As pzeidman said.
As tempting as it may be to include them, a logline is not the venue to describe set pieces, trailer moments. And there’s not enough room: the ideal maximum length for a logline is 30 words.
The purpose of a logline is to succinctly state the essence of the plot. It requires stripping out all the eye candy, all the sex appeal, all the wow! moments in a story. Writing a logline is a gory process of bleeding, skinning, eviscerating, chopping and hacking the story down to its spine, only the spine and nothing but the spine. And the spine consists of the answers to the 4 questions pzeidmn listed — in 30 words or less.
See lessA young Dutch woman is kidnapped by German agents who steal her fortune in diamonds and shoot her in an unsuccessful art sting, finally defeats her nemesis to recover her birthright and protect the man she shares it with. This is the second play in a trilogy and any comments would be appreciated.
As pzeidman said. As tempting as it may be to include them, a logline is not the venue to describe set pieces, trailer moments. And there's not enough room: the ideal maximum length for a logline is 30 words. The purpose of a logline is to succinctly state the essence of the plot. It requires strippRead more
As pzeidman said.
As tempting as it may be to include them, a logline is not the venue to describe set pieces, trailer moments. And there’s not enough room: the ideal maximum length for a logline is 30 words.
The purpose of a logline is to succinctly state the essence of the plot. It requires stripping out all the eye candy, all the sex appeal, all the wow! moments in a story. Writing a logline is a gory process of bleeding, skinning, eviscerating, chopping and hacking the story down to its spine, only the spine and nothing but the spine. And the spine consists of the answers to the 4 questions pzeidmn listed — in 30 words or less.
See lessFollowing the Nazi pillaging of her family?s treasures and their theft by a German youth, a destitute Dutch girl traces a mysterious red velvet pouch to Australia where, pursued by German agents, she recovers her family diamonds and falls for the thief?s grandson.
So. The protagonist is a woman. Her objective goal seems to be to recover family jewels stolen by the Nazis way back when in WWII. Who is her principal antagonist NOW, in the present? A neo-Nazi descendant of a Nazi? (How long after WW2 does the plot commence? How many 1st generation Nazi's would stRead more
So. The protagonist is a woman.
Her objective goal seems to be to recover family jewels stolen by the Nazis way back when in WWII.
Who is her principal antagonist NOW, in the present? A neo-Nazi descendant of a Nazi? (How long after WW2 does the plot commence? How many 1st generation Nazi’s would still be alive?)
And why she is struggling to do this so many decades after WWII? Why didn’t she pursue this earlier? IOW: What is the inciting incident that makes (or enables) her to pursue the jewels NOW?
And what’s at stake? What does she stand to lose if she fails? She’s already destitute: how much worse can her plight become? Also what is at stake morally as well as materially?
See less