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When he wins a basketball championship, a young man suffers an accident becoming paraplegic and must accept his new status in an adapted basketball club before falling into depression.
I think the logline needs to be clearer and more specific on some elements."Basketball championship" and"Young man": Is he a high school or college athlete?Did the accident occur during the championship game or afterwards?? And if the latter, what happened? Was he involved in an auto accident?? Or..Read more
I think the logline needs to be clearer and more specific on some elements.
“Basketball championship” and”Young man”: Is he a high school or college athlete?
Did the accident occur during the championship game or afterwards?? And if the latter, what happened? Was he involved in an auto accident?? Or…?
Film is a visual medium.? Ever plot element in a logline must be concrete, must map to something that can be seen on the? screen?? What’s the visual for “must accept”?? What is the concrete, screen event that will signal to the audience that he has “accepted his new status”?
See lessIn Japan, an awkward schoolboy befriends an orphaned dolphin and nurses him back to health, only to be forced to hunt the same dolphin by his ultra-traditional father, a fishing boat captain.
And story idea that would fit well in the family genre.? I'm guessing this concept is inspired by the controversial 2009 documentary "The Cove" about traditional methods dolphin are rounded up and slaughtered in the the Taiji dolphin drive in Japan.My rendering:An awkward Japanese schoolboy nurses aRead more
And story idea that would fit well in the family genre.? I’m guessing this concept is inspired by the controversial 2009 documentary “The Cove” about traditional methods dolphin are rounded up and slaughtered in the the Taiji dolphin drive in Japan.
My rendering:
An awkward Japanese schoolboy nurses an injured and orphaned dolphin back to health only to be forced to hunt the dolphin by his father, a fishing boat captain.
(31 words)
I have two concerns: 1] Working out a credible sequence of events for how a mere schoolboy could save an orphaned dolphin. 2] The script needs to be written with an nuanced understanding and respect for Japanese culture, language, communal and family life.
See lessAfter being taken hostage following a bank robbery by two bumbling crooks, a fame-obsessed video blogger sees an opportunity to skyrocket her popularity by secretly live-streaming her ordeal with the police hot on their trail.
I like the idea.Maybe something like:After being taken hostage in a bank robbery, a fame-obsessed but failing video blogger covertly live-streams her ordeal to boost viewership and gain sponsors.(24 words)Whatever, my takeaway advice is to enhance the story by establishing in the setup that her ambiRead more
I like the idea.
Maybe something like:
After being taken hostage in a bank robbery, a fame-obsessed but failing video blogger covertly live-streams her ordeal to boost viewership and gain sponsors.
(24 words)
Whatever, my takeaway advice is to enhance the story by establishing in the setup that her ambition has been frustrated. Her video blog is an abysmal flop, low viewership numbers, no sponsors.
And the opportunity knocks:she’s taken hostage.
Best wishes with this project.
See less