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  1. Posted: September 24, 2013In: Public

    Four average-joe teenage boys join a secret anti-terrorist association. Now they must fight against terrorism plots on the streets of Seattle from a pernicious terrorist and his nefarious army of agents before it?s too late.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on September 24, 2013 at 9:50 am

    What wilsondownunder said. The premise doesn't seem credible. That is, that "average joes" would be recruited or allowed to enlist to go up against a "penicious" terrorist and his "nefarious" army. Reads like 4 lambs going to the slaughter before the end of Act 1. FADE OUT... CREDIT ROLL... "AverageRead more

    What wilsondownunder said. The premise doesn’t seem credible.

    That is, that “average joes” would be recruited or allowed to enlist to go up against a “penicious” terrorist and his “nefarious” army. Reads like 4 lambs going to the slaughter before the end of Act 1. FADE OUT… CREDIT ROLL…

    “Average Joes” who against their will and intention find themselves up against a “pernicious” terrorist and his “nefarious” army, who MUST develop the skills and strength to survive and prevail (character arc) — that’s a different story. And more credible.

    But since this is the 3rd time you’ve posted this logline, it doesn’t seem to be the one you want to tell. Good luck.

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  2. Posted: September 23, 2013In: Public

    An inhibited accountant who detest musicals struggles to remain sane when he wakes up in a world where everybody sing and dance.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on September 24, 2013 at 7:50 am

    If it's important then he's got an alibi. Like the Billy Murray character in "Groundhog Day" he's got be shown be a certified, selfish, inconsiderate jerk. The call should be inconsequential -- and when he isn't answering calls, he's texting and browsing.

    If it’s important then he’s got an alibi. Like the Billy Murray character in “Groundhog Day” he’s got be shown be a certified, selfish, inconsiderate jerk. The call should be inconsequential — and when he isn’t answering calls, he’s texting and browsing.

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  3. Posted: September 23, 2013In: Public

    A bratty hollywood teenager finds out how good she has it when an accident forces her wandering spirit to live in a war torn African country.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on September 24, 2013 at 7:41 am

    When a self-centered Beverly Hills exchange student gets stranded in a 3rd world country engulfed in civil war, she must rescue the entire village where she has been living from genocide.

    When a self-centered Beverly Hills exchange student gets stranded in a 3rd world country engulfed in civil war, she must rescue the entire village where she has been living from genocide.

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