Carmen:
>>that men (not all!) don?t really remember feeling anything at that age…

Even though puberty kicks in so much earlier now, I think it is still the case that for most 8-year old boys girls are not their top priorities. It’s a little too early for those kind of feelings you story seeks to portray to kick in. (I speak as a member of the guy species in that regard.)

With regard to issue of unoriginality — mea culpa, my initial response — you are correct that falling in love is a universal experience. And the trick is coming up with a novel twist, a new perspective. Based upon your clarification, I would say you seem to have a different slant. But as I said, I not sure how credible it is, given the facts of biological maturation.

Can the kid (and the girl) be a few years older, both on the cusp of puberty?

Or why not reverse roles? Could the girl notice the boy that way and part of the complication is he’s too busy climbing trees, skate boarding, playing video games — doing young guy things — to notice or understand?

That said: rules were made to be broken. So if you can draw out of the experience of your own son a story that is fresh and unique and true to our emotional lives — more power to you.

BTW: I like the complication of the kid having to get past the gatekeepers of her older brothers. Oh man, oh boy, does that ring true to experience!