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On the run from a determined street enforcer, a young Londoner will do anything and everything to avoid capture but the enforcer has pledged to kill himself in the event of failure.
Yeah, you've got a problem. You've conjured up an antagonist much more interesting (just to look at!) than the protagonist. Your protagonist seems to need a makeover. In fiddling with your logline, it occurred to me to describe the young man as a "street-wise grifter" or a "street-wise hustler" andRead more
Yeah, you’ve got a problem. You’ve conjured up an antagonist much more interesting (just to look at!) than the protagonist. Your protagonist seems to need a makeover.
In fiddling with your logline, it occurred to me to describe the young man as a “street-wise grifter” or a “street-wise hustler” and the enforcer as a “gang enforcer”. “Street-wise grifter/hustler” connotes a strength, an ability to survive by one’s wits on the mean streets by manipulating and conning others. And concurrently a flaw: he’s not honest, doesn’t play by the rules.
fwiw.
>>when the Boss himself comes under threat
See lessHow so? How does the young man’s theft by opportunity threaten the Boss?
On the run from a determined street enforcer, a young Londoner will do anything and everything to avoid capture but the enforcer has pledged to kill himself in the event of failure.
>>The antagonist seems more interesting than the protagonist Yes, that's been my standard response. Is the enforcer's vow voluntary or compelled? That is, does the boss demand it or did the enforcer offer it unsolicited? In either case, why?
>>The antagonist seems more interesting than the protagonist
Yes, that’s been my standard response.
Is the enforcer’s vow voluntary or compelled? That is, does the boss demand it or did the enforcer offer it unsolicited? In either case, why?
See lessHere's just the concept, not an actual logline What if currency never existed ? but instead we had to trade memory's ? Our whole life's are basically memory's, we never live in the present. So what if, in the future, all of society traded in run down memory's, stored in banks. The higher class members of society are ridden with memory's. Then you have the lower class people, left to rot on the street with no memory's what so ever. There is a corrupt government which steals taxes of memory from you every month, and if you run out of memory's, you are taken in to cell 5, also known as shutdown to be 'rehabilitated'. If you want a loaf of bread that would cost you a mere memory of the last 5 minute road trip, new Aston martin ? that could cost you up to a months worth of memory's, even more. Many of you may look at this concept and think ''what a load of shit'' but it's still early days, as i'v only just started developing it. Any constructive criticism will be great !
>>It is inexhaustible Agree.
>>It is inexhaustible
Agree.
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