1. Posted: January 17, 2019In:

    When a self-described ?monster? is released from prison after 25 years, he must confront his past and modern America on the 2000 mile trip home with his only friend for company; the person who betrayed him. That?s me.

    dpg Singularity

    Katharine: When I evaluate a logline, the first question I ask is: what's the story hook?? What is the feature that makes the project stand out from similar projects?? What grabs my attention, makes me want to read the script, see the film? Reviewing the thread of discussion, I found this statementRead more

    Katharine:

    When I evaluate a logline, the first question I ask is: what’s the story hook?? What is the feature that makes the project stand out from similar projects?? What grabs my attention, makes me want to read the script, see the film?

    Reviewing the thread of discussion, I found this statement salient:
    >>>My reason for going there is because I want to try and see if it?s possible to rebuild a relationship with someone who has been part of your life but whom you really don?t know at all.

    So this is the story hook that comes to my mind:? it’s about a documentary film maker rebuilding a relationship with someone she betrayed.? Before making further suggestions,? I would like to know a little more about the the nature of the betrayal.? Would you care to elaborate?? Also what is the purpose of your subject revisiting those sites and people?? To make amends?? To apologize?? Or…?

    Regards

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  2. Posted: July 21, 2019In:

    A wannabe activist who aspires to join a larger action group gets a job at a mysterious energy company he believes is involved in illegal activities.

    dpg Singularity

    What does he want to be active about?? I'm guessing it has something to do with environmental? issues.? But a logline should not leave a reader guessing what the role of the main character is.? So be specific:? "An environmental activist...." What becomes his objective goal as a result of joining thRead more

    What does he want to be active about?? I’m guessing it has something to do with environmental? issues.? But a logline should not leave a reader guessing what the role of the main character is.? So be specific:? “An environmental activist….”

    What becomes his objective goal as a result of joining the energy company?? ?What specifically does he want to uncover,? to expose? “Illegal activities” is too general, can cover a wide range of malfeasance.? ?In “Erin Brockovich” the protagonist must prove that a plague of illnesses in a community is the result of the energy utility dumping toxic waste into the groundwater.

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  3. Posted: July 20, 2019In:

    A disillusioned Catholic priest, the illegitimate son of a billionaire becomes the first American Pope, overturning Rome?s age-old canons. The first Pope to resign in 600 years, he abdicates the pomp and power of the papacy, to return to the woman he loves.

    dpg Singularity

    There are liberties you can take with fact... and others you can't.? It's easier to get away with fudging dates and events in the distant past, like? Ridley Scott did? in "Gladiator" and "Kingdom of Heaven".? Because nobody other than a few scholars would know the difference.? But not for dates andRead more

    There are liberties you can take with fact… and others you can’t.? It’s easier to get away with fudging dates and events in the distant past, like? Ridley Scott did? in “Gladiator” and “Kingdom of Heaven”.? Because nobody other than a few scholars would know the difference.? But not for dates and events in the recent past.?

    So it? does not strengthen the credibility of your premise to state such a glaring inaccuracy for a recent event.? ?Quite the opposite, it’s a stumbling block.? ?The logline raises an unnecessary question in movie makers minds (WTF?? Wait a minute. What about Benedict?)? It gives them an excuse to pass on your premise.

    Just saying.

    And I don’t see how your premise? depends? on that fiction.

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