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  1. Posted: May 5, 2019In: Drama

    A rider girl’s goal to link up her motorcycle from the USA west to the east coast threatens in a serious wreck, but her soulmate inspires her to bounce back, and throws a challenge to achieve her goal in quest of him.

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on May 5, 2019 at 11:36 pm

    Shiva: I am still unclear what the story is you want to tell.? I gather romance is in the mix, but I remain uncertain as to the plot.? ?"To link up her motorcycle from the USA west to the east coast"? is confusing.? What does that mean?? That her goal is to cycle from coast to coast?? In a rally, aRead more

    Shiva:

    I am still unclear what the story is you want to tell.? I gather romance is in the mix, but I remain uncertain as to the plot.? ?”To link up her motorcycle from the USA west to the east coast”? is confusing.? What does that mean?? That her goal is to cycle from coast to coast?? In a rally, a race?? Solo?? Or with? her soulmate?? ?What’s at stake in that goal?

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  2. Posted: April 25, 2019In: Western

    During a harsh winter, a frontiersman with a violent past must protect the family he?s taking refuge with from an unscrupulous company that wants their land.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on May 5, 2019 at 6:09 am

    the darkhorse: A story set in the Great Die-Up intrigues me . Because I was born and came of age in the American West.? And because I have read? biographies of Theodore Roosevelt who was ranching at that time in the Dakota territories.? The Great Die-Up decimated his herd, wiped out his investment.Read more

    the darkhorse:

    A story set in the Great Die-Up intrigues me . Because I was born and came of age in the American West.? And because I have read? biographies of Theodore Roosevelt who was ranching at that time in the Dakota territories.? The Great Die-Up decimated his herd, wiped out his investment.

    I believe there is an interesting movie to be made about the Great Die-Up.

    But it was not even mentioned in the original version of your logline and it’s tacked on to your latest version.? Yet, imho,? it’s the element that could make your script stand out from the herd.? In the Western genre, there’s nothing original about a loner protagonist , nor about one who rescues a family (or community) , nor about the villain he must confront, a corrupt marshal or sheriff.? Those have been boilerplate plot elements for any number of Western movies.

    The one unique element is the historical setting, the Great Die-Up.? IMHO, it should be the lead for the logline, not buried at the end.

    I grant you that it’s a? tough element to? write up for a? logline, let alone feature it in a script, because 99.5% of the people in the movie industry have never heard of the term, have no knowledge of the event.? ?But there it is.

    My 2.5 cents worth.

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  3. Posted: May 4, 2019In: Examples

    A psychiatrist struggles to cure a troubled boy who claims to see dead people while coping with a marriage left in ruins after nearly being killed.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on May 4, 2019 at 6:27 am

    This is posted in response to a review by Aidan Soguero in a discussion thread that referenced "The Sixth Sense".? I think the thread raises? an important question.? Should a logline ever include a 3rd Act Big Twist or Big Reveal such as the famous one in "The Sixth Sense"?The reviews and the word oRead more

    This is posted in response to a review by Aidan Soguero in a discussion thread that referenced “The Sixth Sense”.? I think the thread raises? an important question.? Should a logline ever include a 3rd Act Big Twist or Big Reveal such as the famous one in “The Sixth Sense”?

    The reviews and the word of mouth about the Big Twist in the “The Sixth Sense” sold a lot of movie tickets.? Everybody talked about, but most weren’t revealing it to those who hadn’t seen the movie.? “You got to see it for yourself.”

    Can you sell a spec script that way?

    Well, the rule of thumb has been that a logline should never contain a spoiler.? It should never give away the Big Twist at the end.

    Why not?

    I think the major reason is practical, a matter of psychology 101: viewers won?t settle for delayed gratification. They won?t sit through 90 minutes of yawn for 5 minutes of wow! Not in an age of multi-tasking lifestyles, of streaming video, of so many distractions, so many entertainment choices.

    They want instant, or at least early, gratification. So there’s got to be a hook embedded in the 1st two acts of a script that will grab and hold viewers attention, that will entertain them from the git-go.? A hook that makes it worth their time, attention and money to go along for the ride until the Big Twist at the end.

    And a logline should indicate what that hook is.

    Now then. ?Does the logline posted for ?The Sixth Sense? have a story hook?? Well, the story is not just about a shrink treating a boy. The boy has a unique problem:? he sees dead people.? And the shrink has a troubled marriage after being nearly killed (planting the Big Twist without revealing it).

    fwiw

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