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  1. Posted: September 11, 2018In: Historical

    HIDDEN FIGURES: When a black female mathematician in the 1960?s gets the opportunity to join the all white male NASA team, she must fight the racial abuse in order to solve getting a man back from the moon before the Russians do.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on September 11, 2018 at 5:46 am

    The title is "Hidden Figures "-- it's an ensemble story about 3 Black women, not just one.>>>must fight the racial abuseThe women had to? fight racial discrimination.? They were not the victims of overt racial abuse at NASA so much as the victim of ongoing discrimination, petty and not so pRead more

    The title is “Hidden Figures “– it’s an ensemble story about 3 Black women, not just one.

    >>>must fight the racial abuse

    The women had to? fight racial discrimination.? They were not the victims of overt racial abuse at NASA so much as the victim of ongoing discrimination, petty and not so petty slights and indignities.? ?They were the victims of not just racism but sexism .? In the White, macho male culture of NASA, they got no respect for their intelligence because they was both Black and female.

    >>>to solve getting a man back from the moon before the Russians do

    Rather, the objective goal in the time frame of the? film is to do the mathematical calculations necessary to enable the first American astronaut to orbit the earth.? The moon missions came much later, after the FADE OUT and CREDIT SCROLL.

    So, maybe something like:
    The true story of three Black, female engineers who struggled against racism and sexism in NASA to enable the first American to orbit the earth.
    (25 words)

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  2. Posted: September 9, 2018In: Fantasy

    When the woman of his dreams is kidnapped by a mysterious figure, a manic-depressive alcoholic alters his entire life trajectory to save her from an ethereal shape-shifter that harvests souls for energy.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on September 11, 2018 at 5:20 am

    AnkhEnergy: You've obviously put a lot of thought and imagination into your story.? I've said my 2.5 cents worth on the psychopathology and will leave it at that. One final thought: you're synopsis discloses information I was totally unaware of, could have never gleaned from the logline.? InformatioRead more

    AnkhEnergy:

    You’ve obviously put a lot of thought and imagination into your story.? I’ve said my 2.5 cents worth on the psychopathology and will leave it at that.

    One final thought: you’re synopsis discloses information I was totally unaware of, could have never gleaned from the logline.? Information that frames your story in a different light.? Specifically, that your story is? specific setting as to country (Brazil) and culture (African).? I suggest this is need-to-know information that needs to be? concisely included in the logline because it’s your story hook.

    In my book,? the most important factor in a logline, the must-have ingredient,? is the story hook,? an interest grabber that distinguishes,? differentiates a story from other stories with similar generic plot lines.? In this case,? from other plots about flawed a protagonist needing to rescue a damsel in distress from a malevolent entity.

    Regards and best wishes with your writing.

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  3. Posted: September 11, 2018In: Examples

    When the daughter of an ex-CIA agent is kidnapped by human traffickers, he must hunt them down and save her before she gets sold as a sex slave. ? Taken

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on September 11, 2018 at 2:53 am

    Is this an "Example"? logline for the film "Taken"?

    Is this an “Example”? logline for the film “Taken”?

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