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  1. Posted: August 8, 2018In: Examples

    After mistakenly stealing a suitcase of cocaine from his call-girl wife’s pimp, a lonely pop-culture geek tries to sell the drugs in Hollywood before the mob tracks them down.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on August 9, 2018 at 9:45 pm

    After mistakenly taking a suitcase of cocaine from his new wife's ex-pimp, a comic store clerk tries to sell it in Hollywood while being pursued by a mob hit man.(30 words)This cleans up the somewhat messy "his call-girl wife?s pimp".Or, more concisely:After mistakenly taking a suitcase of cocaine,Read more

    After mistakenly taking a suitcase of cocaine from his new wife’s ex-pimp, a comic store clerk tries to sell it in Hollywood while being pursued by a mob hit man.
    (30 words)

    This cleans up the somewhat messy “his call-girl wife?s pimp”.

    Or, more concisely:
    After mistakenly taking a suitcase of cocaine, a comic store clerk tries to sell it while being pursued by a mob hit man.
    (23 words)

    Or even shorter and more effective:
    written by Quentin Tarantino.
    (4 words)

    The script doesn’t need a logline.? The writer’s name on the title page would guarantee the script would get an immediate read.

    Although at the time the movie was made, Quentin was just breaking into the biz and didn’t have the celebrity status and complete creative control he enjoys today.? ?Fun fact:? in Tarantino’s script,? the protagonist did’t survive the climactic shoot out.? But the movie was directed by Tony Scott who insisted the movie had to have a Hollywood ending.

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  2. Posted: August 8, 2018In: Examples

    After mistakenly stealing a suitcase of cocaine from his call-girl wife’s pimp, a lonely pop-culture geek tries to sell the drugs in Hollywood before the mob tracks them down.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on August 9, 2018 at 1:09 am

    And the movie is...?

    And the movie is…?

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  3. Posted: August 3, 2018In: Comedy

    A lonely stoner scientist develops a method for reversing zombification thanks to a girl he used to smoke weed with then sets out to find and cure his girlfriend but ends up having feelings for his old friend on the way.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on August 7, 2018 at 11:50 pm

    The current version is confusing and completely buries what seems to be a potentially interesting?story hook: the discovery that pot can immunize the general population from becoming zombies.? Unbury and focus on the story hook.

    The current version is confusing and completely buries what seems to be a potentially interesting?story hook: the discovery that pot can immunize the general population from becoming zombies.? Unbury and focus on the story hook.

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