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  1. Posted: July 27, 2018In: Thriller

    When a Russian submarine sailed from Murmansk into the Cuban Missile Crisis, with a nuclear torpedo, Vasili Arkhipov, survivor of the K-19 nuclear disaster, battled PTSD and prevented the captain from destroying the civilized world on the most dangerous day of human history.

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on July 28, 2018 at 4:22 am

    Sounds like an interesting story.? One thing to keep in mind is that a logline should not contain a spoiler -- should not give way how the story ends.? Even though we know the Cuban crisis ended without a catastrophe, the narrative should be framed in terms of what --specifically-- he must do.? ?NotRead more

    Sounds like an interesting story.? One thing to keep in mind is that a logline should not contain a spoiler — should not give way how the story ends.? Even though we know the Cuban crisis ended without a catastrophe, the narrative should be framed in terms of what –specifically– he must do.? ?Not in terms of what he (eventually) does do.

    And because it’s “inspired by” real events, I suggest the proper genre for marketing purposes is “historical” rather than “thriller”.

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  2. Posted: July 26, 2018In: Examples

    After his prizefighter abandons him, an oldfashioned trainer takes on a stubborn woman to train her for a championship challenge.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on July 27, 2018 at 11:28 pm

    First, thank you for posting a logline for the movie, Nir Shelter.? Come to think about it, there's a lot to think about in this film.? But I gotta respectfully disagree on what constitutes the inciting incident in this film.? ?Because: 1]? If the male boxer leaves Frankie, but Maggie doesn't approaRead more

    First, thank you for posting a logline for the movie, Nir Shelter.? Come to think about it, there’s a lot to think about in this film.? But I gotta respectfully disagree on what constitutes the inciting incident in this film.? ?Because:

    1]? If the male boxer leaves Frankie, but Maggie doesn’t approach Frankie and asked to be trained, there’s no plot? The inciting incident is an event that MUST occur to , well , incite, kick off the plot.? If it doesn’t occur, there’s no plot.? The script could just as well have been written without the male fighter dumping Frankie.? It could have established Frankie as a washed up manager with no talent wanting to train under him.? Whatever his status quo would be, as long as Maggie asks to be trained there’s a plot.

    2] The SOP is for the inciting incident to occur within the 1st half of the 1st Act — by the 15th page.?I’ve got a copy of the script, too, and on page 5 Maggie approaches Frankie, asks to be trained.? That’s early — the usual plot point for the inciting incident is around page 15 — but no violation of the SOP.? ?For the inciting incident to occur on Page 27 is.

    3] The male fighter dumping Frankie is what I call (for lack of a better phrase)? a push off the fence beat — an event that compels a character to get off the fence and commit to the course of action that sets the plot in play.? The inciting incident is described as a “Call to Adventure”.? ?And the SOP is for the protagonist to initially refuse, resist that call.? Rather than action, there is inaction — the protagonist hems and haws, comes up? excuses not to act, to sit on the fence. It’s the phase of the 1st Act Blake Snyder calls? “Debate and Decision”.

    Up until page 27, Frankie has rebuffed Maggie’s “Call to Adventure”.? His handy excuse is that he’s already training a promising male fighter — why waste time on a woman?? After the male fighter dumps him, he has no excuse, no options.? And Maggie no longer has a competitor for Frankie’s time.

    >> don?t you think it would be best to describe the inciting incident of the main character (Frankie) and the action of the protagonist (Maggie) as part of the same story?

    Hmm.? As we know, the standard procedure is for the logline to be framed from the pov of one character, the designated protagonist.? I have elected to frame the plot from Maggie’s pov.

    But it’s complicated.? Let me put it this way:? That Frankie is played by one of the most popular and enduring actors of our generation can distort our perception such that we think that Frankie must be the singular protagonist because Clint Eastwood plays 2nd fiddle to no one, right???But what if the role had been played with a 2nd tier actor, someone usually cast in supporting roles?? I venture? the default perception would be that Hilary Swank’s character is and must be the protagonist.

    Let me toss? another movie into the mix for contrast:? “Working Girl” (1988).? Clearly, the protagonist is Tess played by Melanie Griffith.? But who leads off the credit scroll?? Harrison Ford (who doesn’t appear on screen until the beginning of the 2nd Act)? and Sigourney Weaver — both “A” list actors.? Melanie Griffith comes 3rd because she was, at best, only a “B” list actor.

    No matter.? The script is written before it is cast.? And in the “Working Girl” script (and movie), Tess unambiguously owns the story.? She is the prime mover of the inciting incident and she’s in the driver’s seat of the plot from FADE IN: to FADE OUT:.? She yields it to no one.

    And it was Melanie Griffith who got nominated — and won — the Oscar for Best Actress, not her “A” list co-stars.

    So who is in the driver’s seat of “Million Dollar Baby”?? ? I would say that initially Maggie is because she is the prime mover of the inciting incident in the 1st Act.? But unless Frankie eventually agrees to train her, there’s no plot.? So I suppose one could say he takes the driver’s seat when he finally agrees to train her.

    So for the plot to begin to happen (let alone play out) requires the actions and decisions of 2 characters, not one.

    And Frankie is certainly in the driver’s seat in the 3rd Act after Maggie is paralyzed.? Only? he can make the hard choice that brings the plot to it’s pathetic denouement. (And we all know that? in the 3rd Act, the driver’s seat is assigned to the singular protagonist — that’s his showcase moment to finally succeed, or ultimately fail.)

    Finally, fwiw,? both Hilary Swank and Clint Eastwood earned Oscar nominations for Best Actress and Best Actor in the same film.? What does that say about how the pros in the movie business perceived? their roles?

    Anyway , it seems to me that this is a rare film where two characters rotate taking control of the wheel — the spec script and final film are rare instances of a dual protagonist plot, one that works.

    Again, thanks for posting a logline on this film.? It offers a lot to think about.

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  3. Posted: July 27, 2018In: SciFi

    After a new energy source is used to power an entire city, a young cleaning lady is called to protect the city from supernatural threats called Jinn that are attracted to the energy source. The Jinn take over human bodies and give their hosts supernatural powers.

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on July 27, 2018 at 8:07 am

    How does she get the call?? Who calls her?? IOW:? what is the inciting incident that sets her in motion.And? "with powers" is too general.? What specific power does she have that qualifies her to take on the challenge?And if she's aware she's got some magic mojo? --? why? is she only a cleaning ladyRead more

    How does she get the call?? Who calls her?? IOW:? what is the inciting incident that sets her in motion.

    And? “with powers” is too general.? What specific power does she have that qualifies her to take on the challenge?

    And if she’s aware she’s got some magic mojo? –? why? is she only a cleaning lady?? Or is she aware of her mojo at the time of the inciting incident?? What is her implied character arc if she’s already mojo-armed and knows it?

    ?

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