1. Posted: March 22, 2018In:

    Revised: After her children are taken, on account of her mental illness, a holier-than-though mother must reclaim them, by undergoing a life-threatening VR therapy: defeating embodiments of her demons in simulated combat.

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity

    >>>on account of her mental illness, a holier-than-though mother What dramatic purpose is served by her being "holier-than-thou"?? She's already mentally ill.? Isn't that enough?

    >>>on account of her mental illness, a holier-than-though mother

    What dramatic purpose is served by her being “holier-than-thou”?? She’s already mentally ill.? Isn’t that enough?

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  2. Posted: March 25, 2018In:

    In order to acquire funding for their passion project, a group of pretentious film students must survive the night in a haunted house.

    dpg Singularity

    They're film students -- and they aren't going to shoot any film as the plot unfolds in the haunted house?? If so, that's a waste of characterization.? That they are film students is a throw away. Use the characterization. Such as: to raise the $$$ for their passion project, they accept an assignmenRead more

    They’re film students — and they aren’t going to shoot any film as the plot unfolds in the haunted house?? If so, that’s a waste of characterization.? That they are film students is a throw away.

    Use the characterization. Such as: to raise the $$$ for their passion project, they accept an assignment to shoot a video about spending a night in a house that is supposed to be haunted.? Shoot the entire film from the pov of whoever is holding the camera,.

    Yeah, I know that is similar to the pov camera gimmick was used in the the low budget, high grossing, phenom film “The Blair Witch Project”.? (Shot a short distance from where I live, btw)? But if you can come up with something that’s the same — but different….

    Anyway, use the characterization.

    fwiw

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  3. Posted: March 24, 2018In:

    A married woman, riddled with guilt, starts over in a tiny village, but making it her home gets even tougher when she discovers she’s falling for the vicar.

    dpg Singularity

    >>>Caught by her husband with another man, Sarah starts over in a tiny village, but fitting in is tough when she finds she?s falling for the local vicar and is treading on some serious toes.So... your story, in a nutshell, seems to be:? A woman caught in adultery in one town flees in disgraRead more

    >>>Caught by her husband with another man, Sarah starts over in a tiny village, but fitting in is tough when she finds she?s falling for the local vicar and is treading on some serious toes.

    So… your story, in a nutshell, seems to be:? A woman caught in adultery in one town flees in disgrace to another only to be tempted to commit adultery again.

    Well, that seems to be rather thin thread with which to weave a plot.? Drama is about conflict.? Not just any conflict, but conflict that induces change.? ?Well, there is induced change in her circumstances (must move to another town), but I fail to see the prospect, even a hint, of the most important change of all, change in her character.

    What am I missing here? What is the theme you wish to explore?

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