1. Posted: July 28, 2017In:

    Three estranged sisters need to overcome sibling rivalry when Alzheimer?s and stroke require they care for their parents as they discover what happiness and family truly are.

    dpg Singularity

    A I said earlier, the issue is certainly topical, but my earlier reservations still apply for this version.Further, a logline is about objective issues, not subjective needs. It is about what a character intentionally sets out to accomplish, not about unintentional "lessons learned" about family, haRead more

    A I said earlier, the issue is certainly topical, but my earlier reservations still apply for this version.

    Further, a logline is about objective issues, not subjective needs. It is about what a character intentionally sets out to accomplish, not about unintentional “lessons learned” about family, happiness, love, ?the meaning of life or whatever along the way.

    A logline is a summary of a plot for a film, a visual medium. ?Every element in the logline should refer to a concrete person, object or event — to a visual. ?What’s the visual for “discovering what happiness and family are”?

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  2. Posted: July 28, 2017In:

    A disavowed scoutmaster visits a friend in Lebanon, and ends up leading a fledgling group of boys on a mission to save ancient relics from advancing terrorists.

    dpg Singularity

    The logline sets up a situation for the protagonist ("...visits a friend in Lebanon"). And it sends him on an objective goal ("...a mission to save ancient relics ...")But it lacks a crucial logline element: ?an inciting incident. ?What is the event that triggers the action? ?How does he "end up" ?gRead more

    The logline sets up a situation for the protagonist (“…visits a friend in Lebanon”). And it sends him on an objective goal (“…a mission to save ancient relics …”)

    But it lacks a crucial logline element: ?an inciting incident. ?What is the event that triggers the action? ?How does he “end up” ?going on the mission?

    And what are the stakes? Given that that region is strewn with ancient relics, what makes these relics so important that he would risk his life and the lives of a troop of boys?

    And given that the genre is “Coming of Age” shouldn’t the logline be framed with a boy as the protagonist, not the scoutmaster? ?By definition a “Coming of Age” story is owned by a young character, not an adult.

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  3. Posted: July 28, 2017In:

    Sally Mitchell, after having a drunken one night stand with Chris Rogers, finds herself pregnant with twins. Sally and Chris move in together, , forcing their best friends and housemates Dean Smith and Melissa Pearce to do the same, resulting in four twenty somethings having to grow up faster than they wanted to.

    dpg Singularity

    The logline sets up a complicated situation, but doesn't give anyone an objective goal ?to string up ?a throughline for the plot. ?"Having to grow up faster" does not qualify as an objective goal. ?It's too general and pertains to subjective issues ?rather than objective ones. ?Film is a visual mediRead more

    The logline sets up a complicated situation, but doesn’t give anyone an objective goal ?to string up ?a throughline for the plot. ?”Having to grow up faster” does not qualify as an objective goal. ?It’s too general and pertains to subjective issues ?rather than objective ones. ?Film is a visual medium; the objective goal has to be something ?a concrete object or event that clearly — visually ?– signals to the audience that the character has succeeded (or failed). ?What’s the visual for “grow up faster” ?

    And it tosses together 4 characters — who is the lead, the protagonist? ?Or is this supposed to be an ensemble piece of co-equal characters and intertwining plot threads?

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