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  1. Posted: July 21, 2017In: Crime

    A renegade priest confesses to a detective the origin story of his uncanny ability to put “The Fear of God” into any man. (23)

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on July 23, 2017 at 2:16 pm

    Yes, IMDB descriptions are technically blurbs, not loglines.Blurbs are designed to get movie viewers to watch the movie. ?Loglines are designed to get movie producers to make the films. ?Two ?different markets; two different requirements.I get the sense you want to hold back on stating what the prieRead more

    Yes, IMDB descriptions are technically blurbs, not loglines.

    Blurbs are designed to get movie viewers to watch the movie. ?Loglines are designed to get movie producers to make the films. ?Two ?different markets; two different requirements.

    I get the sense you want to hold back on stating what the priest’s uncanny ability is.??Let me put it this way: ?if the priest’s “uncanny ability” is something that is not revealed until the 3rd Act, then it shouldn’t be in the logline because it constitutes a spoiler, a Big Reveal. ?And loglines should not contain spoilers that give away the Big Reveals or Surprise Twist of the 3rd Act.

    But if the priest’s “uncanny ability” is established earlier, if it motivates the action, from the 2nd Act onward, then it needs to be revealed in the logline ?– not hinted at ?– but spelled out. ? Because ?his “uncanny ability” is what drives the plot. It’s the hook. ?Hooks need to be dangled in front of the logline reader, like you would a fish hook. ?You don’t get fish to bite by withholding the fish hook; likewise, you don’t reel in movie producers and directors by withholding the story hook.

    fwiw

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  2. Posted: July 21, 2017In: Crime

    A renegade priest confesses to a detective the origin story of his uncanny ability to put “The Fear of God” into any man. (23)

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on July 22, 2017 at 10:41 am

    I concur with Dkpough1's points. The big question is my mind is : what is the hook? ?What differentiates this movie from "Frailty" (other than different characters)?Another point I would like to make is that ?I'm assuming that in both your story and in the movie "Frailty" (which I have not seen) theRead more

    I concur with Dkpough1’s points. The big question is my mind is : what is the hook? ?What differentiates this movie from “Frailty” (other than different characters)?

    Another point I would like to make is that ?I’m assuming that in both your story and in the movie “Frailty” (which I have not seen) the confession is a framing device for telling the plot of the film — but it is not a core element of the plot. ?The plot is about what actually happens, what the story is really about — not about how a character tells what happened.

    A logline is ?a statement of the plot — not the framing device.

    fwiw

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  3. Posted: July 21, 2017In: Comedy

    A desperate Mexican single mother, looking to win back custody of her son living in America, kidnaps a US border guard and uses him as a coyote, unaware that her hostage is the Homeland security secretary?s nephew.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on July 21, 2017 at 12:56 pm

    While the concept strains credibility, it's being played for comedy, not drama. ?Maybe it will work.The devil -- and comedy -- is in the details. ?I assume you've done you're homework.

    While the concept strains credibility, it’s being played for comedy, not drama. ?Maybe it will work.

    The devil — and comedy — is in the details. ?I assume you’ve done you’re homework.

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