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  1. Posted: July 17, 2017In: Drama

    When her reclusive father dies without a will, his washed-up rodeo queen daughter must gather her estranged siblings in order to settle his estate.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on July 19, 2017 at 10:42 pm

    >>>A down-and-out former rodeo queen is set to inherit her father?s lucrative cattle farm, but must employ?her ex-con?older brother?as part of the deal.1] ?Is that legally possible? 2] If it's a lucrative operation and he's an ex-con , why doesn't he just contest the will so he can get hisRead more

    >>>A down-and-out former rodeo queen is set to inherit her father?s lucrative cattle farm, but must employ?her ex-con?older brother?as part of the deal.

    1] ?Is that legally possible?
    2] If it’s a lucrative operation and he’s an ex-con , why doesn’t he just contest the will so he can get his share rather than be cut out and reduced to a mere employee?
    3] Assuming that the premise is plausible legally, it only sets up a situation for a plot. ? So what if ?he’s an ex-con? ?If he’s a reformed one, ?what’s the dramatic problem? What is the plot that follows? ?What becomes?her objective goal?

    What do you really want this story to be about?

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  2. Posted: July 18, 2017In: Horror

    A research facility in Antarctica comes across an alien force that can become anything it touches with 100% accuracy. The members must now find out who’s human and who’s not before it’s too late. THE THING – 1982

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on July 19, 2017 at 6:51 am

    Well, here's my attempt:When an alien species able to transmorgify into anything it kills attacks a remote Antarctic research station, the scientists must find out who's still human in order to survive. (29 words)Yeah, I know, I know. ?The logline doesn't single out a protagonist. ?I've never seen iRead more

    Well, here’s my attempt:

    When an alien species able to transmorgify into anything it kills attacks a remote Antarctic research station, the scientists must find out who’s still human in order to survive.
    (29 words)

    Yeah, I know, I know. ?The logline doesn’t single out a protagonist. ?I’ve never seen it, so I’m guessing that it’s primarily an ensemble piece. ?The ?plot is not about the struggle of one particular individual to survive, but the struggle of any one to survive.

    And the hook of the story is the nature of the alien and the particular predicament it poses for the humans. ?That is, in order to survive the cast of characters must figure out who is human and who is an alien in disguise.

    fwiw

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  3. Posted: July 16, 2017In: Crime

    The Story about A detective who gets terribly injured during the operation, he goes to Coma. After a Month, he becomes conscious and he realizes that he gains a strange skill that he can contact to corpses that murdered.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on July 18, 2017 at 4:55 am

    And then what? The logline has a protagonist and an inciting incident that sets up ?a situation -- an interesting one -- for a plot. ?But it fails to follow through with a complete statement of the plot that follows from the inciting incident. ?In this case the course of action the protagonist takesRead more

    And then what?

    The logline has a protagonist and an inciting incident that sets up ?a situation — an interesting one — for a plot. ?But it fails to follow through with a complete statement of the plot that follows from the inciting incident. ?In this case the course of action the protagonist takes, what becomes his objective goal, as a result of his newly acquired power.

    What is that objective goal? What is that course of action? ?What is the plot that follows?

    (And to clarify: ?does “corpses that murdered” refer to the culprits? ?Or is it a typo and it should refer to the victims?)

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