1. Posted: March 22, 2017In:

    Share your thoughts or advice on this logline: Faced with bankruptcy, a down-on-luck man goes through a spine-chilling experience to get money to pay for his son?s emergency operation.

    dpg Singularity

    >>Do l need to give everything away?Yep. ?Everything , that is, that a movie maker is looking for.Loglines are advertisements for the script. ?They're designed to get someone to respond and read the script. ?If you were in the market for a car, would you respond to a car ad that didn't tell yoRead more

    >>Do l need to give everything away?

    Yep. ?Everything , that is, that a movie maker is looking for.

    Loglines are advertisements for the script. ?They’re designed to get someone to respond and read the script. ?If you were in the market for a car, would you respond to a car ad that didn’t tell you the make, model, year, and price of the car? ?Of course not. That is the minimum amount of information you need to know, that you want to know.

    Ditto for loglines. ?There are specific elements of information movie makers are looking for. ?(As discussed under “Formula” at the top of the web page) ?If they don’t find them in your logline, they are not going to respond, not ask to read the script.

    “Spine-chilling experience” ?is ?like saying in a car ad that a vehicle has 4 wheels. ?What is the specific “spine-chilling” experience in this story that makes it different from the “spine-chilling experience” in a 10,001 other movies? ?What is the unique selling feature (aka: the hook) in this story?

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  2. Posted: March 22, 2017In:

    Things get hot in a Dead Zone for a ?Bad Bug Collector? after an accidental viral release on a tropical island.

    dpg Singularity

    As suggested by Richiev, the logline lacks clarity. And an objective goal for the protagonist. ?What is he supposed to do after "things get hot" ?(whatever that means) ? ?What's his objective goal?

    As suggested by Richiev, the logline lacks clarity.

    And an objective goal for the protagonist. ?What is he supposed to do after “things get hot” ?(whatever that means) ? ?What’s his objective goal?

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  3. Posted: March 21, 2017In:

    When a man tracks a Mesoamerican heirloom to Brazil, he learns he must choose between revenge for his father?s death, and the life that caused it

    dpg Singularity

    >>>he must choose betweenAlas, that's not an objective goal. ?An objective goal arises from making a choice -- not facing a choice. ?"Must choose between" ?begs the question a logline needs to answer: what choice does he make? ?What becomes his objective goal?

    >>>he must choose between

    Alas, that’s not an objective goal. ?An objective goal arises from making a choice — not facing a choice. ?”Must choose between” ?begs the question a logline needs to answer: what choice does he make? ?What becomes his objective goal?

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